Wednesday, November 09, 2005
girl pals @ the studio / 1:30 AM
the apartment's roof top is where celine, dawn & i are gonna go this friday night. feeling2 drama america. the roof top garden is our fav.spot in our lovely studio but it's not high enough for us to see the sky without the trees blocking our views. but first, we have to plan how to get up there, since the ladder is not tall enough...
food, music, lots of tears & laughter are what we're gonna have. it's our spot...
and with lovely friends like them, i wana stay in the studio forever...
what we talk about every single time we're there is a secret the rest of the crews do not know. and the tears we shed are nothing they have seen before. but as for me, i havent shed a tear in the studio yet. reason being, i dont cry over work or school. i cry over boyfriends...lolx and loved ones.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
away from reality / 5:43 AM
sleeping is one way of running away from reality. that explains why i was awake at 6pm, accompanied by little sis on my side. fear of looking at reality in the eye. if a genie were to appear infront of me, i would wish to be in hubby's arms for the rest of my life. the thought of it; its somewhat like marriage though i know its too early to plan. marriage is equivalent to having a boyfriend for life. how nice is that ... minus the regular arguements and fights.
.
my point is, life isnt always a bed of roses you know. it sometimes feel like a dog just poo-ed on your face. and that is exactly how i feel right now. so that was why i did a little prayer. a prayer for me and him. for his family and mine. cause we...yes the both of us, have been battling with the shittiest situations in life. kisses to thou who have been there to listen and heal, as well as to share and go through them together with me.
.
life's a bliss in fairy-tales ey. how i wish. . .
but for now, i just wanna be in hubby's arms as long as i could.
Monday, May 16, 2005
missing hubby / 10:32 PM
cab driver was practically glancing at me through the mirror. dont blame it on him, for i would do the same if i were him looking at me smiling to myself throughout the whole journey. yet another slash on my desire list. - kiss him again - and yes i did after 2 whole months. i shant complain for i know 2 yrs would be more drastic than what we're going through now.
.
our plan for the movies had to be cancelled at 5am for something came out which wasnt at all expected. therefore i came over to hubby's place to watch home videos instead. we were both still all hyper even after having to stay up till 6am at changi hospital.
.
i wonder if there are anymore well behaved malay boys these days. they come up to you out of nowhere and flash that "nak kenal2" line. cant they be a wee bit original? and when girls reject or ignore you, please take it as she's not interested instead of shooting words like, "sudah lah. step jambu jer." they saved their dicks from being "non-workable" cause when hubby came, they were a distance away, though not out of sight. hubby was practically pulling me to walk faster so that he could take a good look at them, but i slowed down his pace, for i know its one heck of a childish thing to be fighting because of a small thing like that.
.
few more days and its hello to bald head and cd uniform. and in hopes, few more days to a helmet and no-more-cab-fee-to-marineparade. hello bike, im gonna heat up your seats.
.
hubby's exact words - best ah! when he opened up that shopping bag to discover a black tee with a graphic of a little devil on the front.
.
and yet another sight of achik-lookalike. that guy was cute and looked so much like hubby himself. minus the water bottle he was carrying in his hand, he would be much more good looking. like i said before, dear mothers, stop breeding achik-lookalikes.
hubby n rabbit / 1:30 AM
hubby, i stole your picture yet again! muahaha! and i dont care if you do not let me put it up here. nyeh nyeh nyeh! i dont know why i love u in that t-shirt. knock me down and call me crazy. but ur one hot dude of mine in here. and here...presenting adi with little rabbit...
.
.
ever since my ixus digi died (pray for thou), i have to steal pictures from hubby's digi cam. so bare with me people. not much pictures from now onwards. only stolen ones will be posted in here for the time being. once i get a job and a pay, that latest ixus shall be mine. *yana rubs palms together and grins from ear to ear*
Sunday, May 15, 2005
im scared of blood / 5:20 AM
mum thinks im lying when i told her that im scared of blood...or wounds...or anything that has got to do with the shits they show in ER or GENERAL HOSPITAL. u didnt hear me go "haha" mum, so pls stop showing me that wound you have. and brother thinks im a freak whenever i scream at the sight of blood, even if its behind the tv screen. *yana shakes hand with hubby whose a freak just like me*
.
seeing me body going left and right, and my legs going up and down while watching 'House of Wax' is enough to prove that i am a coward. i even turned to nana to ask her if she wants to get out of the cinema with me. but thank you chad murray for being the reason for why i stayed to continue watching that freak show. nana called me tak guna cause she thinks i might be there to be her strength, but noooo...i was as freaked out as her. plus, i cried in the movie. dont even ask me why. you people jolly well know why! so please talk to my hand.
.
and finally, adi im sorry i am putting up your pic in here. but i dont care! i told ya ur one hottie in this pic and i am so gonna show it to the world. muahaha! ur mine ur mine! n i nak u!!! i tak duli!!!
.
.
seeing me body going left and right, and my legs going up and down while watching 'House of Wax' is enough to prove that i am a coward. i even turned to nana to ask her if she wants to get out of the cinema with me. but thank you chad murray for being the reason for why i stayed to continue watching that freak show. nana called me tak guna cause she thinks i might be there to be her strength, but noooo...i was as freaked out as her. plus, i cried in the movie. dont even ask me why. you people jolly well know why! so please talk to my hand.
.
and finally, adi im sorry i am putting up your pic in here. but i dont care! i told ya ur one hottie in this pic and i am so gonna show it to the world. muahaha! ur mine ur mine! n i nak u!!! i tak duli!!!
.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
miracles happen / 6:00 PM
miracle was siding me all along for today (the way it was siding the black team in amazing race). and boy, was i glad my favourite team won. despite having nagged by dad for coming home late every single day, i was happy with the other outcomes before that.
.
as promised, saiful (aka mat belang) accompanied me to school. made some new friends right there where all of them are saiful's friends. had a great time looking at the works of the video production students. the short film about the typical malays is oh-so-cool! the mats, the minah tudung wearing studed belt, the minah tudung having sex at the hdb stairs, the tattoo topic mats talk about, the pak haji not happy with the attitude of "remaja melayu sekarang". everything were there. thumbs up to that guy who made that video. after the trip to school, saiful and me hung out in town where we went shopping. bought a black top for hunny. great buys in one of those guys stores at heeren.
.
someone i love is back to my side again and im more than happy bout that. another pal was no more MIA. that too was a great thing. everything i hoped for happened on the same day. *miraculous* . halis called just to say hi. and that made me happy too, for at least i know some friends are still there for me. :)
.
and dad, im sorry for being the "bad girl" you called me. but u have to learn to let go ... the way i learnt to let go of people and things i love most ...
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
/ 8:06 PM
Date: 7th May 2005 (Ayu's 18th Bday)
Venue: East Coast Beach
People who were there: Nana, JayJay, Wak Dol & gang
.
it was amazing hearing how nana symbolises kite flying with the way us human let go off things. i told her that everytime im flying a kite, i would have butterflies in my stomach, and to let the string go is a hard thing to do. i would be so afraid if the kite might fly off without me holding onto the string anymore. isn't it obvious that letting go is something difficult for me to face. letting go of people especially, where love comes into the subject. what about you? how do you fly your kite?
.
.
.
first we pretended to be nice, secondly we pushed each other and lastly one fell and one acted like baywatch. giggles... thank you to jay2 for being the best cameraman.
.
.
.
poor nana kena torture by us under the rain...and under the sand. *teehee*
.
.
.
when times are tough, true friends are always there to cheer u up. thank you nana, jayjay & wak dol.
everyone stand up and ... say YUMMY to wak dol, say GILER to nana & say AWWW to jayjay
.
.
ANY TAKERS?!
.
.
home-made food kept us energized and wanting for more, which led us to eating dinner at Parkway's banquet later on
.
.
.
and best of all, againts all odds - under the rain or under the sun (or under the feet), true friends are always there ...
.
.
smelly feet
.
.
and so in the end of the day, we were very very exhausted and still very very hungry. and me...my nose was very very burnt. spent forever in the toilet trying to cover it up with makeup. nana and jayjay happily called me rudolff (spelling??), the deer when they saw my nose. next on the "desire" list is a new ixus cam, cos mine got spoilt during the picnic. sobx.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
/ 8:25 AM
mummy's day has always been a typical day for me. no huge celebrations or whatsoever. as my family believe, every day can be a special day, and that is why days like these are nothing to be awed about. but i do appreciate mama for all that she's done for us. the cooking, the laundry, the gifts, the career woman that she is, the mother and at times a friend. a know of people who do not have the mummy we have. and us who have the mummy, take advantage of the whole situation. so anyways, this was my mother's day ...
.
i admit that what i did on that day was something no mom would be proud of. i dashed out of house without my parents' consent. went for a movie with nana. caught 'guess who' which did make us both cry. then went jalan2 at chinatown and all the way to spore river and lastly we sat at the padang. it was all peaceful and quiet. nana and me talked our hearts out, and indeed it was an emotional day for us, but me being me, i always try to deny my emotions, therefore i smiled. headed home very very late knowing that dad's gonna kill me. when i stepped home, mama was the one sitting on the chair instead of dad waiting for me. gave her the flower nana bought and the ring i bought. she smiled. that smile made me happy. so anyways, i think dad kindda losen things with me. he's still very protetive over me, but me being the stubborn girl, i still do the shits to show him that i can take care of myself. 'guess who' was a movie which got personal with my life. the dad is so much like mine. the love life is so much like mine too.
.
nana, i always see u as my role-model. you're one of the strongest ladies i've known of. a mother, a sisiter, a daughter, a nurse, a student, a sister and best of all my best friend! i love u!
We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been
found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and
peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus
I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer
you need to enter into your own reality and reflect
it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band
felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's
all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal
thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. 