:: Queen of Pop ::

girl pals @ the studio

2005-11-09T01:30:00.000-08:00

the apartment's roof top is where celine, dawn & i are gonna go this friday night. feeling2 drama america. the roof top garden is our fav.spot in our lovely studio but it's not high enough for us to see the sky without the trees blocking our views. but first, we have to plan how to get up there, since the ladder is not tall enough...

food, music, lots of tears & laughter are what we're gonna have. it's our spot...

and with lovely friends like them, i wana stay in the studio forever...

what we talk about every single time we're there is a secret the rest of the crews do not know. and the tears we shed are nothing they have seen before. but as for me, i havent shed a tear in the studio yet. reason being, i dont cry over work or school. i cry over boyfriends...lolx and loved ones.

away from reality

2005-05-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

sleeping is one way of running away from reality. that explains why i was awake at 6pm, accompanied by little sis on my side. fear of looking at reality in the eye. if a genie were to appear infront of me, i would wish to be in hubby's arms for the rest of my life. the thought of it; its somewhat like marriage though i know its too early to plan. marriage is equivalent to having a boyfriend for life. how nice is that ... minus the regular arguements and fights.

my point is, life isnt always a bed of roses you know. it sometimes feel like a dog just poo-ed on your face. and that is exactly how i feel right now. so that was why i did a little prayer. a prayer for me and him. for his family and mine. cause we...yes the both of us, have been battling with the shittiest situations in life. kisses to thou who have been there to listen and heal, as well as to share and go through them together with me.

life's a bliss in fairy-tales ey. how i wish. . .

but for now, i just wanna be in hubby's arms as long as i could.

missing hubby

2005-05-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

cab driver was practically glancing at me through the mirror. dont blame it on him, for i would do the same if i were him looking at me smiling to myself throughout the whole journey. yet another slash on my desire list. - kiss him again - and yes i did after 2 whole months. i shant complain for i know 2 yrs would be more drastic than what we're going through now.

our plan for the movies had to be cancelled at 5am for something came out which wasnt at all expected. therefore i came over to hubby's place to watch home videos instead. we were both still all hyper even after having to stay up till 6am at changi hospital.

i wonder if there are anymore well behaved malay boys these days. they come up to you out of nowhere and flash that "nak kenal2" line. cant they be a wee bit original? and when girls reject or ignore you, please take it as she's not interested instead of shooting words like, "sudah lah. step jambu jer." they saved their dicks from being "non-workable" cause when hubby came, they were a distance away, though not out of sight. hubby was practically pulling me to walk faster so that he could take a good look at them, but i slowed down his pace, for i know its one heck of a childish thing to be fighting because of a small thing like that.

few more days and its hello to bald head and cd uniform. and in hopes, few more days to a helmet and no-more-cab-fee-to-marineparade. hello bike, im gonna heat up your seats.

hubby's exact words - best ah! when he opened up that shopping bag to discover a black tee with a graphic of a little devil on the front.

and yet another sight of achik-lookalike. that guy was cute and looked so much like hubby himself. minus the water bottle he was carrying in his hand, he would be much more good looking. like i said before, dear mothers, stop breeding achik-lookalikes.

hubby n rabbit

2005-05-16T01:30:00.000-07:00

hubby, i stole your picture yet again! muahaha! and i dont care if you do not let me put it up here. nyeh nyeh nyeh! i dont know why i love u in that t-shirt. knock me down and call me crazy. but ur one hot dude of mine in here. and here...presenting adi with little rabbit...

ever since my ixus digi died (pray for thou), i have to steal pictures from hubby's digi cam. so bare with me people. not much pictures from now onwards. only stolen ones will be posted in here for the time being. once i get a job and a pay, that latest ixus shall be mine. *yana rubs palms together and grins from ear to ear*

im scared of blood

2005-05-15T05:20:00.000-07:00

mum thinks im lying when i told her that im scared of blood...or wounds...or anything that has got to do with the shits they show in ER or GENERAL HOSPITAL. u didnt hear me go "haha" mum, so pls stop showing me that wound you have. and brother thinks im a freak whenever i scream at the sight of blood, even if its behind the tv screen. *yana shakes hand with hubby whose a freak just like me*
.
seeing me body going left and right, and my legs going up and down while watching 'House of Wax' is enough to prove that i am a coward. i even turned to nana to ask her if she wants to get out of the cinema with me. but thank you chad murray for being the reason for why i stayed to continue watching that freak show. nana called me tak guna cause she thinks i might be there to be her strength, but noooo...i was as freaked out as her. plus, i cried in the movie. dont even ask me why. you people jolly well know why! so please talk to my hand.
.
and finally, adi im sorry i am putting up your pic in here. but i dont care! i told ya ur one hottie in this pic and i am so gonna show it to the world. muahaha! ur mine ur mine! n i nak u!!! i tak duli!!!
.

miracles happen

2005-05-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

miracle was siding me all along for today (the way it was siding the black team in amazing race). and boy, was i glad my favourite team won. despite having nagged by dad for coming home late every single day, i was happy with the other outcomes before that.

as promised, saiful (aka mat belang) accompanied me to school. made some new friends right there where all of them are saiful's friends. had a great time looking at the works of the video production students. the short film about the typical malays is oh-so-cool! the mats, the minah tudung wearing studed belt, the minah tudung having sex at the hdb stairs, the tattoo topic mats talk about, the pak haji not happy with the attitude of "remaja melayu sekarang". everything were there. thumbs up to that guy who made that video. after the trip to school, saiful and me hung out in town where we went shopping. bought a black top for hunny. great buys in one of those guys stores at heeren.

someone i love is back to my side again and im more than happy bout that. another pal was no more MIA. that too was a great thing. everything i hoped for happened on the same day. *miraculous* . halis called just to say hi. and that made me happy too, for at least i know some friends are still there for me. :)

and dad, im sorry for being the "bad girl" you called me. but u have to learn to let go ... the way i learnt to let go of people and things i love most ...

2005-05-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

Date: 7th May 2005 (Ayu's 18th Bday)

Venue: East Coast Beach

People who were there: Nana, JayJay, Wak Dol & gang

it was amazing hearing how nana symbolises kite flying with the way us human let go off things. i told her that everytime im flying a kite, i would have butterflies in my stomach, and to let the string go is a hard thing to do. i would be so afraid if the kite might fly off without me holding onto the string anymore. isn't it obvious that letting go is something difficult for me to face. letting go of people especially, where love comes into the subject. what about you? how do you fly your kite?

first we pretended to be nice, secondly we pushed each other and lastly one fell and one acted like baywatch. giggles... thank you to jay2 for being the best cameraman.

poor nana kena torture by us under the rain...and under the sand. *teehee*

when times are tough, true friends are always there to cheer u up. thank you nana, jayjay & wak dol.

everyone stand up and ... say YUMMY to wak dol, say GILER to nana & say AWWW to jayjay

ANY TAKERS?!

home-made food kept us energized and wanting for more, which led us to eating dinner at Parkway's banquet later on

and best of all, againts all odds - under the rain or under the sun (or under the feet), true friends are always there ...

smelly feet

and so in the end of the day, we were very very exhausted and still very very hungry. and me...my nose was very very burnt. spent forever in the toilet trying to cover it up with makeup. nana and jayjay happily called me rudolff (spelling??), the deer when they saw my nose. next on the "desire" list is a new ixus cam, cos mine got spoilt during the picnic. sobx.

2005-05-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

mummy's day has always been a typical day for me. no huge celebrations or whatsoever. as my family believe, every day can be a special day, and that is why days like these are nothing to be awed about. but i do appreciate mama for all that she's done for us. the cooking, the laundry, the gifts, the career woman that she is, the mother and at times a friend. a know of people who do not have the mummy we have. and us who have the mummy, take advantage of the whole situation. so anyways, this was my mother's day ...

i admit that what i did on that day was something no mom would be proud of. i dashed out of house without my parents' consent. went for a movie with nana. caught 'guess who' which did make us both cry. then went jalan2 at chinatown and all the way to spore river and lastly we sat at the padang. it was all peaceful and quiet. nana and me talked our hearts out, and indeed it was an emotional day for us, but me being me, i always try to deny my emotions, therefore i smiled. headed home very very late knowing that dad's gonna kill me. when i stepped home, mama was the one sitting on the chair instead of dad waiting for me. gave her the flower nana bought and the ring i bought. she smiled. that smile made me happy. so anyways, i think dad kindda losen things with me. he's still very protetive over me, but me being the stubborn girl, i still do the shits to show him that i can take care of myself. 'guess who' was a movie which got personal with my life. the dad is so much like mine. the love life is so much like mine too.

nana, i always see u as my role-model. you're one of the strongest ladies i've known of. a mother, a sisiter, a daughter, a nurse, a student, a sister and best of all my best friend! i love u!

degree here i come!

2005-05-06T14:13:00.000-07:00

saiful shall be my "going to school and going home with" pal from july onwards. haha. thank god there's someone who lives in woodlands and whose in the same school as muah. although i hope that selengeh would behave cos he's a wee bit "giler". see see...i waited for him to wake up to accompany me to school but once he woke up, it rained. saiful, u bring bad luck uh. hisham whose in the same course as me warned me that there' a bitchy lecturer. and so i told him that im gonna be bitchier.that's the spirit! think positive! muahahah! ipan, im gonna have lunch with u everyday and we shall gossip the way we always did during our diploma days. giggles. degree, here i come!

no updates? why?

2005-05-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

heloo bloggers,

judging from what you have been seeing, uhuh i havent been updating. it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride for me. happy at one point and down at the other point. since hubby couldnt be here for me in the meantime, nana has been one splendid pal like she has always been. i got tons of pics to share pretty soon. picnic with mah pals, cheesecake galore, cake baking club i went to and much more. stay tune uh...

to my hubby:

noone said life's gonna be easy, neither did anyone said we couldnt be happy once in a while. but pls remember that im always here for you, although i know u never want to trouble me. but without u for the past 9 days havent been easy for me. cheer up. muax. i cant wait for the happy you to come back. *winks*

and mind u, 2 yrs is gonna be ever drastic for me. wish i could do something to change this whole situation. i just wanna see u happy hubby, cos u know i heart u.

2005-05-03T19:59:00.000-07:00

THE NEXT TIME U WANNA HURT ME, HURT ME WITH A KNIFE!

THAT SHALL HURT EVEN LESSER THAN THE PAIN IM GOING THROUGH NOW...

cute dudes

2005-04-30T17:36:00.000-07:00

some friends are better off gone...

bumpt into slyvester sim at heeren. he was right infront of nana n me at the escalator. but but...whats the big deal uh. its not taufik u know. so nana n me imagined what it would be like if we do bump into taufik. we would probably go like, "Tau...Tau...Taupok." or "Tau...Tau...Tau Goreng." Ok, we're lame, but who cares uh.

missing someone and i hate him for being the only guy who makes me cry the most.

pierced ear again out of anger... Looked around for shops which has "lady piercer", because males are rougher when they pierce my ear.

was walking around at parco with nana n lis. hoped to fall in the arms of simon uh konon. lolx. but then suddenly there were these 2 oh-so-yummylicious caucasian guys in red, and one of them tapped me, said hello and kept on smiling at me. being the shy me, i just smiled and blushed. lolx. nana & lis just grinned at me.

Constantine out?! what?!

2005-04-29T06:05:00.000-07:00

shira dearest, i do not look like suzanne walker . she looks like me! hurhur. hey people, do i look like suzanne walker? *laughs*

would someone pinch me! was i dreaming when constantine got the lowest number of votes and had to go home?! i practically stood frozen infront of the tv hoping that i could have enough energy left to grab the remote to press the replay button or something. i somehow hoped the replay button could bring the scene back to when ryan was still putting scott & constantine in the right places. and i somehow hoped the other group was announced as the bottom 3 group, instead of the group where constantine was in. like how the fuck would AI be without that guy?! and how the fuck did scott manage to be in the top 3?! i bet his fucking family was enthusiastically (spelling??) smsming like a billion times, to have him still in the competition. please oh please let scott be the next one to go home! *sobs* i am already missing that yellowed-teeth constantine.

hearing the word "NS" is enough to make me gulp down my saliva as many times as possible until i get sore throat. seeing my frens in those uniforms or "selekeh" t-shirts taking pictures by the bunk bed is even worst. i know im strong enough to go through this. dear lord, please stay by my side while he's gone ... *sobs*

Girls' Day out with Nana

2005-04-28T03:25:00.000-07:00

Title: Girls' Day Out

Date: 27th April 2005

Time: 8am-11pm

Pit stops: My house, Toa Payoh Central, Town, Singapore River

What we did: Shopping, Movies, Boys watching, Eat, Laze around, Haircut @ Fudge

Rest Points: Toa Payoh muslim stall, Paragon's walkway, BK @ FarEast, Starbucks @ Spore River, McDonalds @ Spore River

People we bumpt into: My Australian "boyfriend" (dream on!!!) Simon Richardson, Ricko, Saiful

I closed my eyes, turned round and round and round and then took out my finger and pointed at the map at the mrt station. it pointed to toa payoh, therefore we decided to have that place as our first destination.

I was chocked when I saw Simon in the train. I patted his hand when I was about to go out of the train. Then he took off his earphones and asked me "How r u?" Then while I was answering him, I bumpt into this lady in the train, cause I was trying to get out of the train while talking to him. Everyone looked at me. Nana said I blushed like hell. It's hard you know looking at a person U like and he knows about it. lolx.

Had hair cut @ FUDGE. I decided to go for the typical layered hairstyle which I had before. A little bit like Emily's but I could't make mine so much like hers since i have wavy hair. But I still love it. Thanks Emily.

Dear,

dont stress yourself out too much. I know what its like. But Im always here for you okay. Im sorry for being very unreasonable at times. No worries bout my hair ok. It's still long. The way you like it. *giggles*

At the Muslim stall...

Nana: Eh you wanna share that?

Yana: Ok.

Nana: What's it called?

Yana: I duno

Nana to Makcik: Kueh triangle satu

Makcik: Ya Allah! Ni pon tak tau namanyer?! Ni kueh Lopes. Ingat jer Jennifer Lopes.

Nana: Kueh Lopes satu

Makcik: Nanti nak beli epok-epok pon tak tau namanyer.

before we left home ... we fooled around

it says, TO TOA PAYOH

anak mak lapar

happily heading to town after haircut

look at that locks

to the movies ...

Thirsty again ... & crazy again

acting all weird in neoprint machine

Singapore River ... our little fingers with our friendship rings

finally the comfy cuhions we needed to rest on!

happily heading home

home sweet home

2005-04-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

dear soul,

i saw u crying last night. i saw u eager for space. i saw u longing for his hug. i saw u worried about ur future. i saw ur smile turned into a frown. i saw u hoping for daddy's trust. i saw u regreting your past.

with love,

yana

thank you saiful & nana for letting me vent it out on the both of u. <3

up next for 2moro's entry : pictures!!! girls' day out with nana.

love letter to dearest hacker

2005-04-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

dearest hacker,

im miss nice and miss super nice to my family, my boy & my best friends. but im miss bitch when it comes to people like you. when u mess around with my loved ones, you jolly well know that your messing around with me. and being the miss bitch, im gonna eject my claws the way they do it in x-man movies. sadly, i wish i could know if your a guy or a girl. but either way, my hatred for you will still be there. if your the same hacker as the last one whom "we" confronted before, then its a tsk tsk tsk for you. i got brains dearest one. and when i do find out who you are, you just watch your back. threaten me all you want but im no coward. and i know your reading this. read all you want. and maybe, just maybe, you can tag at me and show me your identity little one. poor you for not being as smart as me. tsk tsk tsk.

with love,

yana.

pool freak

2005-04-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

"thank you" (notice the sarcasim) to ayang & jake for getting me addicted to yahoo online pool. maybe i shall try wearing skirts 2moro, and behave like a pure woman instead of having my ears listened and influenced by the male dominent. i did not sleep for the past 3 nights for 2 reasons.

1st thing reason : something personal

2nd reason : those boys gave me a reason not to be thinking too much about the "1st reason". and that was when they introduced yahoo online pool to me. and because of that, panadol extra has been my late nights remedy.

i couldnt take it when i kept on losing to the million other pool freaks. and i chose to play with only boys, because of my and their competitive spirit. playing with girls fucked me up. cos when they win, they'd go like, "you suck at this" or "hey i gave that free ball for you". like as if i can't do any better than them. girls are snobbish. i admit. and that is why playing games with guys is much more fun.

i was new. i sucked. i didnt know of some things. but these 3 days of being glued infront of the comp have taught me a lot. the ones who played with me taught me how to win. what the hell was "english"? i finally knew that term. the term they use in a pool game. *giggles*. and also, i came out with a strategy. guys are weak in a way. and we girls do know in what ways they are weak. so to win the game, i flirt. distract them. and say things like, "be nice. i don't like it rough." it's not cheating. it's called strategy and "the power of a woman's mind". *giggles*

and suddenly, pool freaks came up to me and asked, "are you the girl who played it well? cause i heard it from my fren that your good at this game." me good? i suck i tell ya. and when i win, they'd say i make them look bad in the score record board to be beaten by a girl. and some would just forfeit the shit before i score that black ball. bloody hairy creatures! scady-cats!

memories of national day 2004

2005-04-24T04:15:00.000-07:00

those were the days

national day's eve 2004

i miss you girls a lot. mandy & a*mei. my ladies in black.

let's party till late night again. muax.

thought of the day : beneath that imperfection lies a heart which loves me the perfect way he knows.

my perfect boyfriend

2005-04-23T07:49:00.001-07:00

LADIES...

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot (granted)

Who calls you back when you hangup on him (never)

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep (granted)

Wait for the boy who kisses your forhead (granted)

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats (not yet)

Who holds your hand in front of his friends (granted)

Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on (granted)

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have u (granted)

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her." (don't know)

last night, i had the most wonderful dream. a dream that i would not wanna wake up from. seriously! i dreamt that i had the perfect boyfriend. a boyfriend who woke up in the middle of the night just because he wanted to accompany me to 7-eleven when i was craving for slurpee. a boyfriend who climbed the ladder for me when i was too afraid of falling down. a boyfriend who raced in the go-cart with me, just because i have the fear of doing it alone. a boyfriend who gave me a piggy-bag ride from the 3rd floor till the ground floor, just because i was too tired to walk.

dear, lain kali u come to woodlands in the middle of the night when im craving for slurpee ok cayang?

what were those signs? the slurpee, the ladder, the go-cart, the piggy-bag ride ... what have those got to do with my life? i ask ... ponder ...

aper jer ayang buat tu...

Ribena & hi-5

2005-04-22T23:33:00.000-07:00

Ribena has been my substitute for vitamin c. so, finally I do not have to cringe my face whenever I have to have citrus food, which off course contain the vitamin c I need. Woohoo – thats 3 cheers for me. And off course thanks to my dad who offered to buy me more ribena . *yana grins from ear to ear*

.
Being so obsessed with the Hi-5 gang, I pleaded mum and dad to get my sister and me new Hi-5 vcds, since we have been watching the only ones we have again and again. With that, I have memorized a few songs, which is a little bit freaky, cause here I am a 20-year old loving Hi-5 as much as my 1-year old sister. If you think thats the worst, nooo I actually went to check out their website just to stare at pictures of Tim. Uhuh…he is really cute. Move away Nsync, Backstreet Boys and whatever boy band we have left. We have Hi-5 now to keep us entertained and glued to kids central.

and oh, if u guys think im being childish, perlissss try to watch that show! you'll get hooked to it i tell ya'!

cookies paradise...

2005-04-21T00:05:00.000-07:00

and yes, judging from these pictures, i made choc chip cookies which taste better than the really, really sucky ones i made for adi's birthday. i hope he didn't puke eating that ah. recipe from western books are better no doubt, and sweeter. western people got sweet tooth...just like me. and nana, i saved 1/3 of the cookies just for you as requested. but as for the brownies, u have to wait ok...

another thing is, im heartbroken. hmm..no thats nt the right word. im...longing for him. yes thats the right one. i miss him so much that i can bite my cuddly pillow now. he's supposed to pass me his pillow. but he forgot!!! many times!!! at least i could have smelt his pillow right now and pretend he's here. i sound so psycotic, but but but...i miss him...

my pillow n him

2005-04-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

i wish for my huggy pillow to be replaced with him. yesh him. busy busy busy with work. i n.e.e.d to go to timezone with him. i wanna play metal slug, puzzle bubble, soccer and motobike racing again. i wanna beat him this time, cos i lost the other time, except for metal slug which we played as a team. i n.e.e.d to play pool with him, cos i will win. cos i cheat and he lets me cheat so that i can win and not sulk my face if i do lose. i miss him. fuck starhub for cutting our lines. yesh both our lines. no more sms(s) for us. just seconds of calls to hear him say, "im still at work dear." shucks. poor baby.

my pillow doesnt offer as much comfort as as does

and i shall blog about my mum. my mom is a retard. the other day when she tried to wake me up, instead of telling her i wanted another 2 mins of sleep, i said i wanted $2.00. that to me is stupid enough, but nooo...mum wanted to make me look more than stupid, so she told her friends at work about it. and so now whenever her friends see me, they would all make fun of me.

what's in there??

2005-04-19T04:38:00.000-07:00

what's in the wallet?

the ear-rings r not supposed to b there.

wrong photo!! but who cares!!

what's in the box?

...and the 2/3 of the collection...

and here's what i wanna say...

dad took a little time yesterday to understand me, even if it was for a short moment. i am a strong person. but at times when things get way too hard on me, i would just break down and cry infront of the people who hurt me. one thing others should know about me is, im a very sensitive and emotional person. u miss a word, or use the wrong word on me, i can blast out and cry, or scream or whatever. i was touched when dad tried to make me feel better after that, which is not an everyday thing.

it brought back traces of memories when my family and i went to west mall. of all the places i could have brought them to, i brought them there. and when dad asked me who i went there with before, there was a huge lump in my throat when i mentioned "his" name. it was the place where my ex-boyfriend and me went to buy shoes and eat chicken rice. i do not miss him, but all i felt was hatred. and when i mentioned his name to dad, he looked away, cos i know what was going on in his mind. i hate him for causing so much trouble. i hate him for even entering my life at the first place.

i have a blogging partner who has got to be the best. bloggers always go to your blogs to tag and comment on little things. or sometimes criticize you about things you dont even wish for them to mention. and when u chat with them thru msn, they're busy updating their blogs and after that asks you to read it just to get an extra number on the site meter. or sometimes, they would bug you to tag them, even when they have nothing to tag about. but...zulhairy is different. me and him sleep super late everyday. why? cause we blog. and we blog together. he shares with me some secrets, some ideas, and comments on how to make my blog a better place for others to look at. i love his blog cos it's pretty much like a typical website where people would sit down and stare at for hours. he has music, mp3, games and shits like that. he shares them with me. that's like super sweet of him. we chat thru' msn while blogging. we share our thoughts. we tell each other the little things that's going on around us at that moment ... yes the late night moments when everyone else is alseep. tada...there you go zulhairy. that was your credit from me...*smiles*

things i do out of boredom

2005-04-18T02:59:00.000-07:00

i was soooo dying to vent my anger to adi about someome, and he should understand best since he's part of the thing. o'well i know u ppl dont know what im talking about but at least i know lah. and so i babbled everything out in detailed. then he said i was being so long-winded and he tried to cut it short, but it ended up with me saying, "bukan! bukan! u dengar lah dulu!" then he said i talk like "mak-nenek" (in malay it means...something like...auntie-auntie". then when i was talking, i got emotional and almost cried. being the sweetheart that he is, he made me feel better after that. * i lap u*

i was bored so i did a few things which kept me occupied. like?

1) spring cleaning to my room

2) since barbie is a non-existence to me at this age, i played with sis's hair

3) baked brownies

and i let u take a peep into my room...

my little closet full of memories...

the huge designer's table...where i design, study and jump on

the table where i place "things"

cosy corner. where i get all cuddly

i never make my bed cos what's the point? it gets untidy again in the morning right???

my fav.pc game-sims2

3 dried bouquet of roses from loved ones

i have a thing for candles

the bag corner. this is just 1/2 of my collection

smells gooood...dirty laundry

brownies anyone?

the wonders of having little sisters. u destroy their hair!!! wahaha!!!

testimonial from andry

2005-04-16T22:20:00.000-07:00

good friend AKA ex boyfriend gave me a testimonial. how sweet is that? lolx. and it's one neat & nice & a true one...
thank u andry...*smiles*

And'rysk'it...

localDatewithTimezone("Apr 16, 2005 07:11 AM","timetag1");
Saturday, April 16, 2005

HMm oklah since you ask me for this I'll give u wat ya deserve shortyDiyana Ler is wat i called herYeah thanks for bein there 4 me either as my galfren or my fren.Appreciate those times we spent together.. You've been a great gal and never regret knowin u. Yeah it feels awkward being together maybe we're just better off as frens. In short Diyana is a sweet gal who knows how to treat someone well. Thanks for everythin that you've made possible for us. Cheers be true to ya self and ya'll neva fall!
***
thanks begok!

late night again.....

2005-04-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

time check: 6.47am, and still not sleeping. i am having a "pyjamas party" in bro's room with bro and his mate, jamie. it's not as though we had pizza, did makeup or anything like the typical girls night in. but but but...all 3 of us are infront of the comp.

me: reading online comics & playing pc games

bro: doing portfolio

jamie: doing his work & helping my bro with his

had a great chat with ix a while ago since he had some things to share. plus, i had to write him another testimonial. was forced to! and it's the third one.

and that's our boy...

da' sylvester sim look-alike

who r those 2 idiots behind? dun even ask...

jamie is lending me his sims2 university cd! i am so gonna play it soon!!! oohhooohoooo!!! did u hear me scream people?! uhuh!!! and i'll leave u with these snapshots from sims2 university...

one two three four...HI-5!!!!

2005-04-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

Hi-5 in concert 2005! 'Space Magic'

would someone care to buy me a ticket to the Hi-5 Space Magic concert??
i love Tim! <3

2005-04-13T23:45:00.000-07:00

im not a dog.

so please stop pulling me by the neck!

happy 1 yr anniversary

2005-04-13T00:10:00.000-07:00

tick tick tick...it's finally the 13th of April 2005. 13 an unlucky number? it's one lucky number to both him & me instead. today is officially a year of blissful (& not so blissful at times) friendship anniversary for us. adi & me. as for our love story, we can't remember when it started, but it sure was a memorable one.

2 years back on the 8th of march 2003, when we both shared shy smiles & gazes, all i hoped for was a moment with you. a moment where you would come up to me and talk, but it was left as a moment where we both shut our mouths up and went home after the 2 days of "i look at u, u look at me. i give flirty smile to u, u give shy grin to me". but never did i expect you to find me after that. and that date was the 13th of April 2004. you finally came up to me. and bit by bit, we slowly became close friends, and from there a kiss lead to a lifetime for me & u :)

that moment...all i hoped for was a little while with you...
i asked for a moment, but u gave me a lifetime...

and if i can picture how angels look like, this is how i picture them...

my adi as a toddler & as my angel...

and no doubt, love gave us a 2nd chance

to ECP with best friends Nana & Adi

2005-04-11T02:22:00.000-07:00

Nana, my best friend and I had the time of our lives today. It was full of stomach cramps due to laughing too much, getting fat together as I promised, going around the whole of Parkway for the whole hour, being silly and pure entertainments by the Australian concert band, the 2 drunk Malay boys, the cute skimmers & Mr. shake your bonbon.

Presenting the Australian concert band & Mr. shake your bonbon

Cute skimmers alert!!!

We had our lunch at Banquet in Parkway, and after that went for *Mr. hunt*. Since Adi wouldn’t tell me where hes working just because he doesnt want me to see his ugly uniform, I decided to surprise him, even if it meant having to look at all the stores one by one. We tried to find stores selling stainless steel trays because he once told me about an incident where this lady bought a stainless steel tray at the store and tried to flirt with him. Plus, Nana and me tried to find stores with sales people wearing ugly uniforms. Those were the only clues we had. After an hour, we concluded that the hardware store at B1 has sales people wearing ugly black uniforms with huge aprons on them. And still, we couldnt find Adi! Then I told Nana that maybe he was having the day off. So, Nana told me to call him.

Me: B, where are you?
Adi: At home.
Me: You’re not at work?!
Adi: No. Off today.
Me: Ok never mind I’ll call you later.
Adi: Whats wrong?
Me: Nothing. Bye.

And once I hung up the phone, Nana and me laughed like hell until people at Parkway turned their heads on us. Nana couldnt stop laughing and made me feel stupid.

And so I smsed Adi…

Me: I hate you! Why didnt you tell me you’re having the day off? I actually spent an hr looking for you all over Parkway!
Adi: Alah sorry lah. Saper suroh u tak call me sebelum you datang? Kan dah bingit sendiri…

But, being the sweetie that he is, he made it up by coming down to ECP at night to meet me, even for a while…
And being the sweetheart that Nana is, she actually told me to spend some time with him alone while she went somewhere else, and met me again after an hour later. Love you sister!

Before that, Nana and me had dinner at McD. Adi came late. But it was worth it, cause he looked hot just now. I melt seeing guys in black T-shirt. He was in black T-shirt and berms. And I love him in berms.

Adi: why didnt you call me before you looked for me at Parkway?
Me: Like as if you were gonna tell me where you’re working!
Adi: And Im still not telling you.
Me: You better do!
Adi: It’s the one with ugly black uniform.
Nana: With the huge apron???
Adi: Yah. You went there?
Me & Nana: Duh!
Adi: Sanggup you carik me!
Me: Abeh!
Nana: Demi cinta!

Silence and shy grin from me…

Nana kicked my leg and whispered: Your blushing!
And I whispered back: Thanks for telling me…

It was nice to see Adi & Nana clicked, cause he doesnt click with most of my other friends, especially my schoolmates. I love the both of you for making my day a splendid one.

Enough of the talking, and let these pictures do the talking…
This is my day @ ECP with my best girl friend!!!

and we watched each other grow fat...

Nana let her chips go to waste. tsk.

we watched each other go crazy too...

Nana at her best

and me giving free lessons. 1) how to eat ferrero 2) how to dance tarian

the socks series...

...and the sand series

and to end with...this is the $1.00 coin adi gave to me at the bus stop just now. lolx.

and i shall keep that :)

blahhhhssss

2005-04-08T02:53:00.000-07:00

i am honestly not good in remembering faces. therefore, i apologise to everyone out there who bumped into me hoping i would smile back at you when you look at me, but instead you get a glare from me. cause when a stranger keeps looking at me, i would just glare back at that person. fierce kan? lolx.

anyways, that topic came out because yadi bumped into me not once but twice at causeway point. i noticed him only once. i didnt recognise him. he was staring at me so i shot him back a dirty look, thinking "aper ni mat stare stare kat aku ni?!" sorry ah boy. next time tegoh me. jangan step malu ah.

azim too saw me few months back when i was sitting outside Taka with adi. a bunch of malay boys started to stare at me semacam. then when i got home, azim sent me an sms. i was blamed to be sombong (arrogant in malay) for not smiling at him. im a wee bit blind lah people. so when u guys bump into me, please come up and say hi even if my darling is there. he doesnt eat people up ok.

i went to the esplanade with mum, dad & sis. it was tiring. all i wanted was water & more water. i was hungry too. these days, i haven't been eating much, that is why i get real hungry at night. i ate like a glutton in burger king. im still hungry...

these are the people i would love to meet after they are done with their exams or when they are having the off day from serving the nation...

-JayJay...it's always fun hanging out with you! Free this coming Sat?

-Yani...movie's on me aight girl. i need a pink undies...

-Ekhsan...let's chill out dude :)

-my own brother & his friends...let's hang out!!! im bored at home. why u all never ask me along when u all go out one???!!! becos im a girl is it??? is it??? sobzzz. no fair. sniffzzz.

-my Darling...i know we hung out few days back, but why am i missing u still? i duno. i kan giler...haha. kalau boleh nak simpan u dalam my kocek, so hari2 leh peep kat u.

God took away yet another soul...

2005-04-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

in the midst of being caught up in my own world, out there is a world i didnt take notice of. the world where people are dying, where lives are taken away one by one, including the ones i love & friends of my age who are not supposed to go. i cant find a reason to be mad at God for doing so cause i know he loves them more than i do. i lost a friend 3 days ago. Leo, my ex classmate. someone we all regarded as a kind soul, a great guy and all. though not close with him, i do know of friends who treasure him not as much as i do. they felt the pain more than i did. but like the rest, i didnt know how to react when i got the news.

dearest fellow ex-schoolmates of amkss,

let us not ponder too much on what has happened. he finally let it go...and return to where he came from. let us all remember him as the guy with a smile. as the smart guy who is not only good looking but kind. he was a friend to all. and i love u all my mates despite the fact that we are all too busy for each other once we went our seperate ways. but never forget the moments we spent together as classmates, as schoolmates, as team mates and as friends especially. special hugs to these friends who have never forgotten me despite me graduating secondary school a year earlier - jayjay (especially you!), limin, huifang, huiteng & nana.

lets say a little prayer for the ones we lost...

espcially to my granddad, i miss u a lot...

happy belated 19th birthday adi

2005-04-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

ayang & me had the time of our lives at ECP. a little belated birthday celebration for him. it took me forever to get to marine parade from my work place. the things i do for love. ayang said i look lemah when i arrived. ye lah belom makan per. jalan punyer lah jauh. turun naik bus. turun naik mrt. my ayang looked so beach boy ah just now. kata skimmer boy ku kan. we went to mcd to buy our lunch. then walk walk walk till we found a good spot to pitch the tent. being the princess that i am, ayang told me to sit down while he did the tent. but i helped with pegang2 the metal poles ah so that i wont fly off. we talked, played some games, gave him his bday pressie, talked crap and it was basically a nice time. innocent kisses and all. then when it was about to rain, ayang told me to sit inside the shelter while he undo the tent.

being the gangster that he (haha)is, he stared back at the people who stared at me, and shouted,"aper tengok?!!" siak ah. aku yang malu seh. but it was sweet ah. cos i have no idea why a lot of people kept staring at us and at my butt mcm tak pernah nampak pantat gitu! we were real tired. ayang offered to pay for my cab fee but i insisted on taking the bus. i was stubborn...and am always stubborn. but i dun like using guy's money ah. tak baik...tsk tsk...

i love u ayang...ur mine mine mine...and i am all yours...

yesterdays n today

2005-04-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

there are 5 tombstones in my sims' house. they haunt the house at night, so i decided to do the "moveobject on" cheat code and delete the ghosts when they appear. it's very frustrating when there are guests around and they start scaring them away. i hate that.
.
so pc games have been staying up with me throughout the whole late nights. its sad that i behave like boys sometimes. *haix*
.
i was forced to vacuum the floor yesterday. dad would know if i miss spot. he'd go like, "aha why is this area still dusty? why is this thing sticking onto my feet still?" it was very tiring. so after that when we were all lazing around in the family room, i would scream "OI I JUST VACUUMED!" to anyone who spilled a crumb of biscuit or anything onto the floor.
.
we had pizza. delivery boy was a chinese. sad ah.
.
ayang had a crazy dream about me which made me laugh. and so did i last night. i miss him. he misses me. korang jealous? korang punyer pasal ah! ni aku nyer blog aper!
.
didnt manage to spend time with lilies before she left for java. she sent me an sms before she left. haix. i'll miss her.

move away bitches...

2005-03-31T13:46:00.000-08:00

When it comes to protecting my baby from bitchy girls, I can get very catty & mean. I'm all sugar & spice when I'm around my baby, but he hasn't seen the minah side of me. Like I said to him, "They wanna look at you, they jolly well look at me first." Not that they would be able to look at him after they look at me that is, but i bet they wouldnt even dare look at him after they come across me. Biler part nak mintak number lagi girl u kat sini hit the roof telinga berdarah! Korang nak bual brother sister ngan boy aku, korang sini dulu bual sister sister ngan aku. Isap ah babe! Nothing happened, but I hate it when girls ogle their eyes on him macam tak pernah tengok jantan. Now you've seen that side of me. Satisfied?!

im lady dee ***

2005-03-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

i made this out of boredom. someday i shall have an interior & graphic design studio of my own and i shall name it herstudio287. yeeps!!

and...abang izad gave mum these pics...

attachment...

2005-03-24T10:36:00.000-08:00

my dear got into a motorbike accident yet again...

and he dared said he was fine and asked me not to worry when he "terseret" on the road.

my last day work...i left the place with a heavy heart. the team bought me cake and shared their thoughts about me. then i said a few words to each individuals. i will miss them a lot. whem i came back the next day to have cherie sign my evaluation form, jet sounded so said and said, "why didn't you say goodbye to me yesterday? u just left!" haha...thanks guys for the wonderful memories!!!

shared my experience with my director, louis and he really liked the suggestion on the material library. my attachment experience has been a splendid one. if i could stay any longer, i would! they were surprised after i gave them the presentations on my solo project for the company. "Why didn;t you show us your power earlier?" was all they could say. o'well people, i was just respecting the authority...i do what you guys tell me to.

so it's back to basic once again...SCHOOL. Dad offered to pay my trip to Perth to visit my aunt there as well as have her bring me around the schools there. And like what Cheri said, Im the graphic design girl and she loves me work. So, there you go, Im going for Visual Comm as my next step in the design field.

just me

2005-03-20T19:32:00.000-08:00

remember my entry where i said that strangers have been coming up tp me to talk? here's another one when i was outside my school campus waiting for jayjay.

stranger: hi. sorry i approach you out of a sudden liek this. but i cant help myself but to notice your lovely blouse while i was at the bus stop. im kindda in a hurry waiting for my bus now, but i'd just like to know ehere you get your blouse?

me: my fren gave this to me. the brand is dorothy perkins. i think u can get it in town.

and we started talking about school and all...

stranger: is there any way we can get in contact? btw, my name's farida

and we exchanged hp numbers. and when the bus came, she left...poof!

***

JayJay did something really sweet for me. i was hungry...and he made me these before he left the house. i didnt ask for it. but he just did them! there was actually an egg sandwitch too, but i ate it b4 taking this pic. thanks jayjay. muax!

we'll always have each other...

here's the best friends...

***

mum's company dinner last night at regen hotel was a blast, although the food sucks. haixx. the food at crown prince hotel was the best. even the waiter whoe served us @ crown prince was cute. lolx.

anyways, i got bullied by the host. i was busily eating my chicken when he tapped my shoulder to go up the stage to play the stupid game called "the hollywood hot seat". it was somewhat like a musical chair but an adult version. 4 guys sat on the chairs while 4 girls (i was one of the unlucky ones) had to turn round and round until the music stops. and we had to sit on any of the guy's lap. ah seng, the chinese guy who told my mum that he likes me and wanted to get to know me was one of the guys. beside him was this indian married man. when the music stopped, i didnt wanna sit on the indian man, so i rushed to sit on ah seng. i was so obvious that the host made fun out of it!

host: wah this girl ah really keep her mind on this guy already! look at the way she ran up to him! wah like she really love this guy! diyana? why? u in love with him ah?

and everytime we stop at one guy, we had to take off an itme from them. we had to complete all 4 guys. first it was the right shoes, then the sock, then the left shoe, then the last one was the shirt. yhe guy that i took off the shirt was this chinese guy who wore so many pwder on his body sial! when i had to open his shirt, the host again made fun of me...

host: sorry ah diyana. u can't take off ah seng's clthes. tsk tsk.

and after the other girl took off ah seng's shirt, he made fun of me again...yet again...

host: diyana, take a look at ah seng's body for the last time. admire it before you go.

URGH!!!! and thd dj who was right besode me kept on grinning at me. like as though it was farni!

and before we even started that game...

host: what's your name young lady?

me: diyana

host: wah! the voice ah! i melt ah! u know ladies and gentlemen, lat night i called the 1800 friendship hotline and i heard this sexy voice saying : "hi my name is diyana"... was it you?

me: NO!

***

and that's the end...
and here are the pics... but too bad my mum didnt take the pics of me up on stage.

cik OG & cik hamzah

the lovely abang izad aka mr taufik & kak julie
abang izad is dolah hakim's son. if u duno who dat is, go ask ur mum or dad. they shld know!

the veterans...

once in a blue moon seeing me in a dress, so fetish your eyes on this!

the very blur pic of mum & me

work n wrok n work

2005-03-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

to think of it, selina my boss is the most inspiring designer i have met and known in real life. when she talks, it makes us listen. i admire her and her work.
speaking of work, it has been a hectic month for me. everyday, i sit down infront of the comp in the office to finish up 3-4 floor plans within that 9hours. the worst thing that have ever happened was just now when the fucking comp shut down by itself while i was doing my floor plan in autocad. i didnt save the work, so i had to start all over again. *bless me* i need some long hours of sleep...

ekhsan's back and im happy. :)
i miss adi...A LOT! :*

the corner of my lips is in pain...

joshua whom i thought was the fakiest one in the company turns out to be the nicest one. he made sure i knew how to do each task. we're from the same college, so i guess he understands what i don't know and what i know. things i learn from school are slightly different form those i do at work. thanks joshua for being a pal!

mum's company dinner on the 19th and im too lazy to look for a dress...
i dont wanna go! neither do i wanna go to indo on the 25th to visit relatives. dad wont let me stay in spore all alone cause he knows i would be up to no good. sheesh it sux that he knows me that well. fark...

just babbles...

2005-03-12T22:09:00.000-08:00

topic number 1:
strangers out of nowhere have been approaching me to talk. talk about what? things that has nothing to do with me. Some has something to do with me, but pls don't start talking about things i don't wanna talk about. They just wanted to talk to someone who listens. but when they start shooting soalan ugama to me, i tak leh tahan tau. muker aku teros cramp!
"adik ada kelas ugama tak?"
"tau tulis jawi?"
and my answers...
:ader blajar...blajar ngan abah."
"tak tau tulis. tau baca."
and he shot back...
"mesti kene tau tulis tau..."

*urgh*

topic number 2:
makcik ngan tudung: my husband semalam off so kiter pegi shopping lah semalam...

the phrase "my husband" seems to sound so cool to me. i had the urge to talk that way to my firends...

me: my husband dapat 1-week off, so kiter whole family went london lah tau!

*sheesh*

topic number 3: my dearest pal, ekhsan is away to johor and wont be back till monday. basket! lonely sial like this. my boo, adi pegi rewang kawin besok ngan member nyer. and semuer pakai "baju" dorang. nak rewang pon pakai uniform. susah susah..tak paham...tak paham...

i went out!!! finally i did!!!

2005-03-11T00:11:00.001-08:00

i love you uncle william ang for doing your best to get me to school on time. although i was 15mins late, my lecturer was later than me for our appointment. so, i was very lucky. i woke up late, and that lead me to ugly makeup, ugly dress code & very late for the meeting. i called comfort cab, but walau, they took so long to come down to pick me up, that i gave up when i saw uncle william's mercs cab coming my way. i told him to get me to my destination at 2pm, therefpre he speed and potong jalan here & there. but there was a huge traffic jam at north bridge road area, because of the IT exhibition at suntec. walau sporean are so kiasu sial. like that also the whole country wanna go. sial lah. uncle william charged me less too. he gave me his name card and told me that in case i cant get a cab, i can always call him, his handphone or his home number, since he stays in woodlands too.

lau pa sat is an eating paradise sial i tell you. but girls who wanna go there, its better to bring your boyfriends along ah. the pakcik there all so gatal ah i tell you. mum actually asked my dad to bring her to lau pa sat after i told her about my trip there. haha. she hasnt been there before.

lilies treat me to a movie. we caught the show starring jim carey. i cant remember the title. it was a good movie. the message was, 'you're lucky as long as you take some time to appreciate the little things you have in your life'.

i finally got the polo tee i wanted. its hot pink! whee! we saw a really nice necklace at the lifeshop. i will buy that after i get some cash. and that topshop tee which are sold out in bugis...there are still a lot more at wisma's topshop. yey! im gonna get that soon. and i want that tappered pants at ebase. i kept on seeing those hip chinese girls wearing that. i want those!! and yeh, i shall look around for that bracelet adi wanted, since his is broken when i was out with him the other day...

my prayers for you...

2005-03-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

adi called me when i was at work to ask me for a favour...

he asked me for my prayers.
i smiled and said..."i did, i always do, and always will..."

:)

happy 19th birthday adi

2005-03-07T10:40:00.000-08:00

i stayed beside the TV, with the clock on at the top right hand side of the TV screen.
12midnight:
i called adi...
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! am i the first?? am i? am i?"

HAHAHA! super lame!!! and indeed, i was the first. *winks*

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY MY BOO! it's been such joy watching you grow...
love ya' hunny...

because i woke up so latelast saturday & sunday, it was hard for me to get to sleep last night. ekhsan accompanied me thru' smsing until 3am where we both fell asleep. and..we both woke up late. he was late for school & i was late for work. im happy to get a morning msg from mah baby adi. he's doing his theory test now. i did my prayers last night, so i hope god would answer it. it was a prayer for my dearest hunny.

at work now:
big boss is back. fark. i have to work on the stupid project which i didnt wanna do, but now i have to. cheebai! bluergh...i hate work. my drafting table is under my bed, and i cant be bothered to take it out. adoi!!! wanna use autocad but im too lazy lah. takes too much time. i forgot how to draw... im serious...
k, i take back my words when i said fark to big boss, because...she just gave me chocolates. *shy smile*

i sent way too many bday msgs to didi, but i dont care. im gonna say it again...
Happy 19th birthday adi!!! *im such'a retard*
im feel so sorry for not being able to celebrate today with him because of work. but i promised him that i would spend the whole day with him after im done with this attachment. :)

my boo...

2005-03-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

i had a splendid time with nana my best fren at east coast. we didnt do anything much. basically, we sat down and talk. called adi to check on him. poor baby was so hardworking studying for his final theory test for 2moro, and it's his birthday on the same day. whee! since he hasn't eaten anything for the whole day and no one was at home, i persuaded him to come down and eat. so he did. accompanied him to eat at mcd. then i asked him to join nana & me walk walk for a while, but he was so worried for his test he told me he wanted to go home. so i fetched him lah until the tunnel, and saw my baby left. every single time i meet him, my heart pounds fast. haha...mrepeks

2005-03-06T15:45:00.000-08:00

i have the farkiest dad in the books of history. shant say anything more, cos i simply hate him...
and so do all my friends...

im back

2005-03-05T14:33:00.000-08:00

i breathe the air of happiness these few days. haixxxx....thats was a sigh of relief. im in love all over again, with the one who might hurt me anytime. but i choose to play this game. and another thing, infactuation is shooting its arrows on me. but i ain't letting that go any further. seriously!

work wise, i keep on getting hungry when im at work. like, all the time. morning, afternoon & night. I have been eating rice, bread, rice, bread & the cycle repeats. joshua told me not to eat too much since im a girl. but i cant help myself. plus, he tempted me when he bought those buns! i had to do the same too. and speaking of him, he reminded me this: 2 more weeks of hell. back to school and that's where u'll breathe heaven.
yey! im all excited for school. little kids who are reading this, please please believe me, school is soooo much fun!!!

quick updates

2005-03-03T10:57:00.000-08:00

-im happy though im broke.
-im at work and very sleepy. cant wait to finish off ths internship. im hungry for a degree.
-sales girl at hush hush bugis, thanks for ur very good service. sempat bual2 pasal children. hurhur. hope to meet you again.
-i miss him and i love him.
-mah baby's turning 19 in 4 days. yeeepppss!!!
-meerah turned 1 yr old yesterday.
-am i supposed to meet louis today??????shit...

me being me again..

2005-03-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

what a start of the day! i was late for work. very late! like mins late! all becos i hadto alight at khatib when i was on my way to work, because i was so sick. i needed to sit down. there were no seats available for me in the train. u know lah the feeling you get when ur about to faint right? the huge pain inone part of ur body, the sweat, the heat that takes over your whole body, and your vison changes. all you see are smudges of a white canvas. and so after a few mins res, i took the train again. and again, the whole cycle occured once more. i wish that particular someone wouldbe there, or at least hear me in pain. but i know things are not the same as before. night after night, i get nightmares about us. it happened again last night.

even after having 2 cups of milo, im still suffering this pain in my tummy. i don't know wat's wrong. imvery sleepy and tiredeven though i went to bed at 10pm and woke up very late for work-7.30am. i need the day of. seriously! i need time to mend my life. i really do. yesterday, after watching the big unknown 2, all i wanted to do was to tell my dad that i change my mind again. i swear to god that i need to be in a foreign land to mend my entire life. forget about being homesick cause that's the least i could think of. i need to be away from some people here. that's the only way i can move on and start afresh. i haven't been crying this much. if i could turn back time,i would turnit back to when i still have myparents's trust. cause one small trigger of me wanting to be like the minahson the street changed my entire life.

anyways, hapi 1st birthday to my dearest sister ameerah! love u sweetheart!!!

me again...

2005-03-01T21:31:00.000-08:00

my day at work was very "entah aper". i duno how to say it. i basically did nothing much. i pretended to be working, but i was simply surfing the net, using the office phone and sleeping when no one was watching. everyone seemed stressed with their projects. poor vin always kene marah. i don't blame anyone lah, cos designers are born to snap.

so when i really had nothing to do, i kept on going to the loo. not to loo, but more to sleep. 2nd boss gave me something very tedious and lame to do in teh office. i had to shred a whole pile of confidential sheets. the worst thing is, the shredder needs a break like every 10mins. i hate shredder machines cos they scare me. it makes me think it's gonna take in my little fingers anytime.

i had the wrost nightmare ever. it involves love & family. i ain't saying whose in there but there were 2 ppl i hate, 1 guy i truly love & another guy who wasn't even supposed to jejak into my dream. shawn toh! my classmate shawn toh was there. and when i did tell shawn about the whole dream, he presented me with a shit icon in msn. some gratitude u get after letting someone enter your dream!

im waiting for 10.30pm. this is so deja vu. cos i remember looking and looking to my wrist watch waiting for 6pm when i was at work just now. im waiting for lilies. i have to pick her up later. she's staying over for the sake of accompanying my lonely self. someone has been ignoring me and ain't trying to make it too obvious. and again, i shan't mention names.

so enuff of my babbling lah. and one thing i really don't get it until today is, when u go into higher nitec, are you like still in the same ite campus? pasal some people said yes, some said no. so in summary, i don't know. so tag me people who know better...

for filzzie

2005-03-01T15:31:00.000-08:00

i desperately want that huge bean sprout with the secret messege. i wanna get it for someone.
andoh, congrats to my dearest cousin on her KABOOM o levl results!soproud u got all As except for the one B. :)

and lucky me for passingthat phase of life.the o levels. haha. cos this is what i might get:

history: 5
art: 2
malay: 5
english: 4
physics: 6
chemistry: 6

hahaha!!! thank u raffles design institute for taking me in. for i would never have survived olevels! haha...

i love n i hate

2005-03-01T14:43:00.000-08:00

i love my idea for the 1st project,but budget wise, im not sure. 2nd project, i have nothing. im stucked with the "bag" idea. im getting fatter, causei eat a lot at work. i love my work mates especially 2nd boss. they are nice ppl. :)

i hate being at home. i wanna run away...

i love bad boys, so pls dun despise them. despise me!

i hate my wrist...

tanda2 kematian

2005-03-01T14:24:00.000-08:00

Message: for muslims..tanda2 matiMessage: For Muslims, Tanda2 Kematian....READMessage: Ini adalah tanda pertama dari Allah SWTkepada hambanya dan hanya akan disedarioleh mereka yang dikehendakinya.Walaubagaimanapun semua orang Islam akanmendapat tanda ini cuma samada merekasedar atau tidak sahaja.Tanda ini akan berlaku lazimnya selepaswaktu Asar. Seluruh tubuh iaitu dari hujungrambut sehingga ke hujung kaki akan mengalamigetaran atau seakan-akan mengigil. Contohnyaseperti daging lembu yang baru saja disembelihdimana jika diperhatikan dengan teliti kita akanmendapati daging tersebut seakan-akanbergetar. Tanda ini rasanya lazat dan bagimereka yang sedar dan berdetik di hati bahawamungkin ini adalah tanda mati maka getaran iniakan berhenti dan hilang setelah kita sedarakan kehadiran tanda ini. Bagi mereka yang tidakdiberi kesedaran atau mereka yang hanyutdengan kenikmatan tanpa memikirkan soalkematian, tanda ini akanlenyap begitu sahaja tanpa sebarang munafaat.Bagi yang sedar dengan kehadiran tanda inimaka ini adalah peluang terbaik untukmemunafaatkan masa yang ada untukmempersiapkan diri dengan amalan dan urusanyang akan dibawa atau ditinggalkan sesudahmati.Tanda 40 hari sebelum hari matiTanda ini juga akan berlaku sesudahwaktu Asar. Bahagian pusat kita akanberdenyut-denyut. Pada ketika ini daun yangtertulis nama kita akan gugur dari pokok yangletaknya di atas Arash Allah SWT.Maka malaikat maut akan mengambil dauntersebut dan mula membuat persediaannya keatas kita, antaranya ialah ia akan mulamengikuti kita sepanjang masa. Akan terjadimalaikat maut ini akan memperlihatkan wajahnyasekilas lalu dan jika ini terjadi, mereka yangterpilih ini akan merasakan seakan-akan bingungseketika. Adapun malaikat maut ini wujudnyacuma seorang tetapi kuasanya untuk mencabutnyawa adalah bersamaan dengan jumlah nyawayang akan dicabutnya.Tanda 7 hariAdapun tanda ini akan diberikan hanyakepada mereka yang diuji dengan musibahkesakitan di mana orang sakit yang tidakmakan secara tiba-tiba ianya berselera untukmakan.Tanda 3 hariPada ketika ini akan terasa denyutan dibahagian tengah dahi kita iaitu diantara dahikanan dan kiri. Jika tanda ini dapat dikesanmaka berpuasalah kita selepas itu supaya perutkita tidak mengandungi banyak najis dan ini akanmemudahkan urusan orang yang akanmemandikan kita nanti. Ketika ini juga matahitam kita tidak akan bersinar lagi dan bagi orangyang sakit hidungnya akan perlahan-lahan jatuhdan ini dapat dikesan jika kita melihatnya daribahagian sisi. Telinganya akan layu dimanabahagian hujungnya akan beransur-ansur masukke dalam. Telapak kakinya yang terlunjur akanperlahan-lahan jatuh ke depan dan sukarditegakkan.Tanda 1 hariAkan berlaku sesudah waktu Asar di manakita akan merasakan satu denyutan di sebelahbelakang iaitu di kawasan ubun-ubun di manaini menandakan kita tidak akan sempat untukmenemui waktu Asar keesokan harinya.Tanda akhirAkan berlaku keadaan di mana kita akanmerasakan satu keadaan sejuk di bahagianpusatdan ianya akan turun ke pinggang danseterusnyaakan naik ke bahagian halkum. Ketika inihendaklah kita terus mengucap kalimahsyahadahdan berdiam diri dan menantikan kedatanganmalaikatmaut untuk menjemput kita kembalikepada Allah SWT yang telahmenghidupkan kita dan sekarang akanmematikan pula.Sesengguhnya mengingati mati itu adalah bijakforward this buletin...may ALLAH SWT blessyou.saling berpesan2lah sesama kitapost this bulletin & u'll receive deeds from ALLAHs.w.t!!!

this brought tears to my eyes

2005-02-28T22:34:00.000-08:00

If a gal cries in front of u,
it means dat she couldnt take
it anymore.
If u take her hand,
she would stay with u 4 the rest of your life;
If u let her go, she couldnt go back 2
being
herself anymore.

A gal wont cry easily,
xcept in front of the person who she love
the
most,
she becomes weak.

A gal wont cry easily,
only wen she love u the most,
she put down her ego.

Guys, if a gal cries bcoz of u,
please hold her hands firmly,
she's the one who would stay with u 4 the
rest
of ur life.

Guys, if a gal cries bcoz of u,
please dont give her up,
maybe bcoz of ur decision,
u ruin her life.

When she cry rite infrnt of u,
When she cry bcoz of u,
Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain and hurt she's
feelin?
Think.
Which other girl have cried wif pure
sincerity,
Infront of u,
And bcoz of u?

She cry not because she is weak,
She cry not bcoz she wants sympathy or
pity,
She cry,
Because cryin silently is no longer
possible,
the pain,hurt,n agony hav become 2 big a
burden 2 b
kept inside.

Guys,
Think about it,
If a gal cries her heart out 2 u,
And all because of u,
Its time 2 look back on wat u hav done,
Only u will know the answer 2 it.

Do consider it,
Coz one day,
It may b 2 late 4 regrets,
It may b 2 late 2 say "im sorry".

To my friends...
Ponder this message seriously.
Dont do this to a gal,
You may regret 4 the rest of ur life.
Maybe in ur life,
she's the onli one that loves u the most.
Remember this lesson.

projects!!!

2005-02-28T19:53:00.000-08:00

working is lots of fun compared to being in school or being at home. collective designs have widen up my mind in designing, especially material wise. it takes my mind of things i don't wish to remember. i was given 2 projects which i have to do alone within this 2 weeks. i then have to present it to the company including my boss-selina. after things have been approved, i then have to have construction drawings and quotation for the carpenters. a lot of work, and i need your help. so these are the projects i was assigned:

project 1:
there's a "wall of fame" in our office where we pin up pictures of our projects. so the challange here is to create "something" that would awe the clients. something creative that would show off the pictures of our projects. forget about the "photo frame" idea. i need something fresh, innovative & versatile. there are 3 spaces in the office where we'll have this area. nothing big because the space is within the circulation area, so forget about creating a huge platfoam or anything like that.

project 2:
clients are given proposed plan, perspective drawings and etc, including papers on quotation (pricing of the whole project). it's something they bring along when they come into our office. foregt the "FILE" idea. the challenge is to create something clients would easily bring around, as well as something they can keep, as well as something which they can use again, and when other people see the "thing" they would go like, "oh wow. where did you get that?"

so help me out dearest bloggers. thank you...

me me me

2005-02-25T19:53:00.000-08:00

i almost fainted at work because of the weather(even in the 16 degree celsius aircon rm), the food, the work load and the me being me. adi forced me to drink a lot of water which i did only an hr after being told. i felt better after that. maceh ayangku. today, i am cranky. only when i got home. im tired and basically pissed off with everyone around me. i was ok at work though. i wasn't feeling so well, but i laughed a lot. speaking of which, we had lunch without vin. i felt sorry for him cos the team seems to be so againts him. vin did tell me something as well. im new there so i won't judge anyone. i love them all in collective designs. it opens up my mind in what i havent learnt in school in the interior design and architecture world.

i finally took photos to attach on the application form for SIM. next step is to ask raffles design institute for my miserable transcript. the diploma cert is not ready yet, therefore i cant send them the cert which i am bloody proud of. my high school cert's lost, as well as all my other certs. :( my hard work for competitions in NYP & SYF & AMKSS are all gone...!!!

im feeling desperatly weak now. therefore, im gonna go...chaio

minahs...

2005-02-24T16:19:00.000-08:00

minahs who think they can act all stuck up just because she has a helmet with her, please get a life. so i was on my way home from work yesterday, when this minah in the bus practically stared at me throughout the entire journey. she was clinging onto her helmet and acted all stuck up, staring at me from head to toe. i refused to make enemy with her, and so i simple glanced and gave her this fake smile. she stared at me even more while smsing. urgh! please ah. like as if i heran like that. and another thing i cant stand are those anak abu(s) who go around town with bag helmet thinking they can act all grown up and step maner nyer minah motor sial. like adi said, inside those bag, sure to have color paper, color pencil and all instead of a helmet. it's very pathetic ah!

and so to make me feel better, adi told me that soon enough, i'd be bringing one of those bags with a helmet in it! and if i ever bump into that minah again, he said i can show it off infront of her bloody face. and so i said i won't just show my helmet off. dengan mat motor aku skali aku tunjok kau ah minah! GRRRR....

yo

2005-02-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

am at work. woh...a lot of people took the day leave. they're still in the holiday mood i guess.

seriously, bubble gums taste aweful, even if they come from philliphines, like the ones jet bought. i simply hate bubble gums.

i love you coffee for waking me up...

last night: slept at 7pm-10pm & 5am-7am

woke up late but am never late for work. i feel so fresh today with very little make-up. :)

hey again

2005-02-21T13:16:00.000-08:00

and btw, i know there are a lot of grammer and spelling mistakes in the previous post. sorry people...cause this keyboard is so fucked up. mind my mistakes aight...

a day at work

2005-02-21T13:13:00.000-08:00

i accidently buy chocolates with nuts in them instead of rums and raisins like what i hoped to buy.blame it on me for not looking at the cover. thre i was trying to be healthy by eating rums and raisins. i hate raisins, and that is the only way to have me eating them.anyways, i ate a lot at work. i had 2 cups of mushroom soup from the office's kitchenette and nasi goreng during lunch time.

am doing a lot of work today. haixx..hard to please cheri with the images i chose but finally i got them approved. now i have to scan tons of images into the office's material bank. haixx...
have to get back to work. and btw, only 4 of us are in today. the rest are still having the day of...even after the 2 wks break. im glad to be to work. some family problems came upwhich isnt anything plesent to blog about. aight people...enjoy ur day.

yehhh

2005-02-19T16:26:00.000-08:00

i just woke up, cause i slept at 8am. y? cause adi got home at 6am. the problem with me is, i worry too much. i can never sleep until he gets back home. i do that ever since we started going out. so blame it on me for being too obssesed... bah, whatever

mum asked me to the zoo today. the thought of looking at animals bore me, unless its kambing. i have a fetish for kambings. they're cute. i hate it when im eating them, but they're nice to be eaten. anyways, i duno if i wanna go to the zoo. cause its pretty late now and it takes me forever to get ready. my poo is heating up. so chiao people....

and ... mum called ...

to say we're going to THE UK FUNFAIR!!!! YEYYYYY!!!!!!!

bored...again...

2005-02-19T05:27:00.000-08:00

time check: 5.20am.

bro and me are still awake.

what are we doing?

him: paying the sims2

me: blogging & smsing adi while waiting for him to get home *yawns*

was reading my past entries. cant believe the things i used to do. i actually slit my wrist when i got out of control becos of family problems and stress in school work. and so i thought that wouldnt leave any scars. today, i see scars on my wrist. how dumb was i? no one could stop me. not even my best friend or my ex-boyfriend. it made me feel better, although i must admit it was painful after a while. the only person who stopped me from doing the thing i shouldn't have done was adi. it was him who heard me cry, who told me not to be selfish, who made me see the wonders of life and that he's there for me. the power of love. sheesh. cutting my wrist has never came across my mind ever again. it's a stupid thing to do...

im hungry now. im craving for toh seng kopitiam's laksa. shessh...cant i stop thinking of food 24/7? in fact, brother told me to write this in my profile...

LOVES: FOOD!!!!

this mouse which i stole from school sux. the ball wont move at some point. so i told my brother...

"konek dier melecet"

fark

2005-02-19T02:21:00.000-08:00

my 2 wks holidays went down the drain that quickly. i haven't been to town like forever. i miss being there though i hate seeing people posing muker there. but nvm, i guess i'll have more fun at work starting on monday. cleaned a bit of my room. it doesn't look totally clean, but things are more visible to the eyes now i guess.

a while ago, i actually berangan about acting in anak metro. see how bored i was. but anyways, anugerah planet music was oh-so-boring. i was 100% awake only at the part where taufik came out to perform, which came as a shock for me, since i didnt know he would be there. mum's fren got free tix to the award show, but mum doubt that i would wana go, plus tak sempat nak tunggu aku siap.

waiting for adi to get back home. miss him...

entah eh...

2005-02-18T03:50:00.000-08:00

from now onwards, im not gonna type an entry of the "insides" of my life. i have my reasons. but wahey, im still gonna type about it if it makes me go...WHEEEE!! so today, besides getting new things, hmmm let's see what im gonna blog about.

im so serious about having someone ride that G-force with me. aku carik maut aku tau. this saturday die-die i will go there. and on sat afternoon, maybe, just maybe, if dad gives me some cash, i would wanna buy a top from topshop and i need jeans. jeans at giordano are like eeww. bell bottom and boot cut??!! what are they thinking? i saw some tappered-maut female jeans at ebase but i hate the color. these days i see some hip chinese girls wearing those tappered checkered pants, but i don't think i'd look good on those. alah..takot nanti orang melayu kita panggil aku minah-jap lak kan. and speaking of clothes, my bro should throw away my ex-boyfriend's clothes which are still in the house. bluergh. and was i so retard to offer adi my ex-boyfriend's boxer. a boxer which i bought which haven't been worn yet - like duh.

later on at 5pm i must watch kids central. yey. lizzie "mguaurie"-is that how i spell it? oh whatever. and im gonna watch all the cartoons on tv. i don't care. monday's back to work and im not gonna moan at work about not getting to watch little kc. bah. piss out people!

im thinking of moving in to my bro's room since i hate my room now, cos mum makes it her room now. bloody hell! soon, i'll be moving out...hah!

new things

2005-02-18T01:14:00.000-08:00

got new shoes.
got new skirt.
pink colour somemore...
im happy.

im dying to get that green top at TOPSHOP and that jeans at FAR EAST...

2005-02-17T05:53:00.000-08:00

hey pretty people. the aliens took away my tag board. something happened to mah tag board, so in the meantime pls use the comment link to add ur tags aight babes. muaxxx...

UK funfair treat...

2005-02-16T01:36:00.000-08:00

Happiness rewards those who are patient, strong, bold & wise. I got rewardad!

The hottest spot to "wash eyes" for guys is...UK FUNFAIR. If only the prizes are those boys. Yummy! And we're talking about Malay boys in bikes here. Sheesh I sound farking bitchy here...sad. but i was kidding haha! i love one n only one. so fuck it.
Back to the UK funfair story...it's not a place to bring your "not sporting" parents. I let you witness a scenario...HIT IT:

Yana: Ma, let's ride the G-Force!
Mum: That?! It's higher than that HDB flat. Are you nuts?!
Yana: Ma, let's ride that ball thingy!
Mum: You want me to faint?! No way!
Yana: Ma, let's ride that one then...
Mum: Your face actaully faces down when your up there?!!!

So after persuading Mum to ride those "scary" rides, I failed to have her on any one of them. And finally, she pulled me to this particular ride...

Mum: Hey ride this merry go round with me you want? Scary you know...

Yana rolled her eyes and walked away. She then told her Dad how pathetic her mum is. mum and dad told me to bring my bro along one fine day...
i am so calling adi to come here with me. he's been dying to come to the UK funfair. We are crazy people unlike our boring parents...sheesh...

....

2005-02-14T03:50:00.000-08:00

My fam and me had dinner twice! first we went to bugis cos i wanted to eat laksa. then after some little window shopping, we went to tekka to eat curry. we brought james along. then we met fiona xie in mustafa centre buying soap. she's real pretty in person. tall too. we got some indian sweet and indian instant food. im so bloody full right now.

asked bro if i shld call him. he told me not to, cos i'd sound very desperate. so what the hell...i didn't call him. i miss him but i can't show him that im weak...

im so sleepy now...like sooo seriously sleepy. tata

oh before i chiao, i came out with a list of things to get when i get my pay...hit it:
-a pair of jeans
-a shoulder-less top from far east or topshop
-new pair of shoes (pink shoes)
-change my hairstyle
-get bro something
-pay dad the money i "will" owe him soon (cos i need the cash for adi's birthday)

goal: to spend less than $150

2005-02-13T05:07:00.000-08:00

I wasted a week of holiday doing near to nothing. I wanna go out but I cant afford to. It's hard to believe how a PC game can affect my life so much, till I forgot the meaning of reality. When i switched myself back to the real world, I discovered myself in tears. I feel so alone. Finally I knew the joy of school.

Hopes:
There are a lot of bad shits that happened and are happening that I don't wish to go on forever. I hope for a miracle....

I wanna go back to work. I hate this 2-weeks holiday. I wanna be done with attachment and get back to school, wherever it might be. I need friends around me. I need to be around a crowd. That's me. I can't stand being in an empty space or being in an occupied space yet with no one talking to me or to talk to. I need attention. I need someone to laugh with, to smile with, to eat ice-cream with, to grow fat with. I don't wanna do these alone. I hate to have tears in my eyes. I hate to see a frown on my forehead. I hate widening my circle of friendship through MSN or Friendster. I am a realistic girl. I need real things to happen in my life, not bad shit though. I wanna commit a crime or a sin without other turning their heads on me or getting caught. I need the adrenalin. I wanna be in UK funfair where the ball would shoot me uo into the air and I'd go ARGH! I don't wanna sit down all alone and be quiet. That's not me. I'm the bubbly who talks, who laughs, who screams. That is who I am...

2005-02-11T23:50:00.000-08:00

tengok aper tu yana? im so chubby!!

2005-02-11T18:12:00.000-08:00

now i don't have to complain about rotting at home for 2 wks anymore, cause i am so addicted to sims 2. both my bro & me. im still in my pms-ish mood, that explains why i got so mad at adi when he did nothing wrong...not totally nothing wrong...he kindda went out without telling me these few days. ok, he gets paranoid when i don't tell him where im going, so i have the right to do the same too. and he didn't answer my calls. but oh well...i don't know. shut ur mouth yana. im just being a petty girlfriend i guess. all these started out when i asked him to go somewhere with me, and he answered me with a "i tak tau" and i got mad at that. blah blah blah.

anypoops, on the 9th-chinese new yr, mah fam & me went to sentosa. many mats & minahs were at the beach, including myself. hey at least i admit i am one. they were cute beach boys indeed. being the vain pots that me & bro are, we took tons of pictures. made some new friends there...a french couple who gave up their sits for muah & muah sis. and some beach minahs who simply smiled and said hi to me.

rotten day at home...some fam shit. mad at dad especially for being so unreasonable. i cant wait to get my own house. marry me now!!! i don't care!and anyway, my honey should get a bike quickly like what he's hoping for, cause i hate taking the train!!!

2005-02-06T01:30:00.000-08:00

i got no idea why people make such a big fuss out of valentine's day when it's like any ordinary days to me. "how are you gonna spend your valentine's day" "what are you getting him" "who's your date on valentine's day?" - common questions! and boring ones indeed. what's the point really? do you like show your love only on that day? sheesh. everyday's like valentine's day to me when im with him. it doesn't matter. in fact, i am more looking forward to his 19th birthday since we got the whole thing planned together, including what to wear on that day. as for "V" day, im getting him a card and probably a chain or a ring. just maybe.

2005-02-05T16:45:00.000-08:00

me in the candy store at woodlands

yana: one vistroy menthol light
aunty: hah?!
yana: VISTROY MENTHOL LIGHT!

aunty looked at me from head to toe

aunty: you sure not you 18?
yana: wah! you're the first person who said i don't look 18. i feel so good!
aunty: no lah. u really look very young you know.
yana: ah thank you. wanna check my ic?
aunty: ya let me see you ic.

yana took out her ic. aunty checked. ahh...

yana: see i told you im 20.
aunty: ok ok. sorry ah. young people now you know lah.

i swear i would have torn her apart! me not 18?! what the hell!! first time seh kena like this. so anyways, adi laughed at me. because i always laugh at him when the sellers ask him for his ic. anyways, that ciggie wasn't for me. it was for some new ah-beng friends i made from the streets. hehe.

it's a saturday. no work. and i slept till the afternoon. i finally get to do that after such a long time. work is tiring. it is very! but seriously, i have fun at work! :)

2005-02-03T21:23:00.000-08:00

last night's conversation proved that adi is deliciously cute, even if i said so myself. haha. this was how it went:

yana: my leg itches!
adi: u just shaved?
yana: no. the hair just grow.
adi: so now it lokks like that animal? the one with the torns...what is it called? landak in malay.
yana: hedgehog you mean?
adi: no. the other one.
yana: porccupine?
adi: i thought porccupine's a tree?!
yana: a tree???? *yana scrached her head*

me and my bro rolled down laughing at him. hehe.

2005-02-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

im sorry to everyone who has been offended by my words. i have been very exhausted lately. ever since day one of work. i am not complaining that i hate the company, cause collective design has gotta be the best working place ever. everyone are so nice! and young.

anypoops, joshua & vin who sit next to me in the office were ex students of raffles design institute from the badge 2000. wow! my ex schoolmates! haha. vin is sooo cute & nice. VERY! he goes around the office with his shark's tail water bottle all the time. & joshua & jet said he goes to the toilet all the time. haha!

ok im hungry...going out to eat with parents. chiao peeps n poops. and happy b'day to jake.

2005-02-01T05:45:00.000-08:00

young teens who are suddenly exposed to the working world tend to go overboard when it comes to dressing. young teens like me. ok, fine im not a teen anymore. young adults like me. i have always been classified as the odd one in the interior design world. for starters, i am the only one who wears make-up in class. my classmates don't think i look like any interior designers. other courses people think im from fashion design or visual comm. that made me think...im somewhat like a roasted version of legally blonde. i don't look like i fit in the crowd, but actually i do. im different in a way. cause one of my motives in life is to be different.

i was right when i predicted that female bosses are cranky. selina is cranky but funny and nice. she gets really cranky when there are too much work to be done. she forces people to eat cake. what the hell. anyways, my first day of work went well. everyone was nice. i was given a lot of tasks to be done. done with one task, comes another. cherie has gotta be the best. one thing about her is, she steps in my shoes-meaning she knows how i was feeling. i am now helping her with the presentation of an indonesian restaurant at suntec. 2ndly, she's very talented i tell ya. i set up the material library and everyone seemed pleased with what i did. i did labels on them after i sorted them out. i was a girl with heels who had materials dropping right on my face. i carried heavy stuffs and tidy up the whole room. i was glad. we had lunch together in the meeting room. they got me mcd since i coulnd't possibly eat non-halal food. and o' ebing the only malay there is kindda sucky. only the delivery boys are malays lah. i got so screwed up when it same to using the phone. "sharon! which button to press?!" "cheri, your call. come to my office. i duno how to transfer calls." i was so retarded! i elft an hour early without knowing! haha. but anyways, i'll make sure i stay up 1 hr more the next time.

female bosses are cranky. and female drivers are stupid. im speaking for my on kind, but who cares. they are! bus 74 ca,e so late. i felt so fucked up, but thank god i was early for work. female drivers shouldn't drive the bus. seriously!!!

anyways, im getting ready for work now. i slept at 11pm with my makeup on and woke up at 3am to wash it off. but then, i couldnt get back to sleep. so adi accompanied me on the phone till 4am. gotta rush now. chiao people!

2005-01-31T05:00:00.000-08:00

i had an early sleep-at 11pm that is. and i had a great sleep, until my bustard sis woke me up by crying. then mum started to on the lights. making things worst there. at 4.30am they invaded my beauty sleep. seriously, i could have torn them apart if i wanted to. i tried to go back to sleep, but it was a failed attempt. then i got hungry. so i had 2 fun sized bars of SNICKERS. let the creator rest in peace, cos it has gotta be the best choc! anyways, i guess i was being dumb, cause would someone please bang my head with a rock..don't i know that chocolates would make me more hyper instead of sleepy. but i got hungry! opened the fridge when i was out of food in the room. had some coleslaw which barry calls COLES-STRAW. what on earth is that??

ok 30more mins for me to go to bathe since im going to work later. so i'll have a few mins nap. chiao!

2005-01-30T20:21:00.000-08:00

being alone at home is really nice. you get to have the house all to yourself. you get to shit with the toilet door opened and change with the windows wide opened. okay i exagerated that part. but seriously, i need a house of my own. a space where i can simply run naked. where i don't have to wear nything. saves my laundry money.

try shutting your baby's mouth by giving him or her adult food. it works. but if it doesn't u can always put the baby in the freezer. but if u gotta breast which presses out milk, then life's a bliss. i need breats with milk to stop my sis from crying.

happy 21st birthday lilies

2005-01-30T07:37:00.000-08:00

it was lilies's 21st birthday. we had a little party at east coast beach. i'll let the pictures do the talking...

and this is the journey...

before the party

lets get this party started

hungry aliens

US

and...THEM

finally ALL OF US

and oh...lets not forget GOD

2005-01-30T06:48:00.000-08:00

i was called PRETTY by him* :)

-amin-

2005-01-29T03:57:00.000-08:00

What if, Allah couldn't take the time to
bless us
today because we
couldn't
take the time to thank Him yesterday?

What if Allah decided to stop leading us
tomorrow
because we didn't follow
Him today?

What if, we never saw another flower
bloom
because we grumbled when Allah
sent the Rain?

What if Allah didn't walk with us today
because we
failed to recognize it
as His day?

What if, Allah took away the Quran
tomorrow
because we would not read it
today?

What if,Allah took away His message
because we
failed to listen to the
messenger?

What if, the door of the Mosque was
closed
because we did not open the
door
of our heart?

What if, Allah stopped loving and caring
for us
because we failed to love
and care for others?

What if, Allah would not hear us today
because
we would not listen to Him?

What if, Allah answered our prayers the
way we
answer His calls .

What if, Allah met our needs the way we
give Him
our lives???

2005-01-27T17:35:00.000-08:00

adi got his results and he's enrolling into higher nitec. and im not too happy about that. neither both of us r happy

i just discovered i can't get a degree in mass comm since i don't have a dip for it. so my only hope is to take a dip in that relevant subject. urgh. so whatever. as long as i can take mass comm lah. the thrill is not being part of the showbiz, but more to the love of writing. i have always have this fantasy to write for those female magazines...hehe**

***

ash's mum passed away. i feel to sorry for her. she lost he aunt recently and some other people. now this is her mum we're talking about. i feel like shit cause i haven't been there for her for such'a long time just cos i was so bz with my final yr in college. it's no fun seeing friends losing their loved ones. life's so unfair. i wonder how my other peeps down under are doing as well. girl friends like tegen, megan and briah. they were like my best mates back then. we used to talk hours on msn, called each other even though we know overseas calls cost a lot. we write to each other like all the time, send xmas and bday gifts, though at times the stupid mail won't get to us even after we spent a bomb on the parcels. i miss those days. i miss them heaps. briah and me planned to meet up when i come down to perth for university, but now...plans have changed.

***

nan did somethin' to her hair. she ain't telling me what. but o'well, im getting a short crop. i miss having short layered hair. i duno if i'd look good in it, cause i have been having long hair since god knows when. i won't let the lady cut it too short bah cause adi told me not to. he said the worst would be having the hair touching my neck. so, i'd call that long layered hair lah. not really short hair. my wavy hair is real hard to handle. blame it on mum for having curly hair. now i have to suffer with wavy hairdo.

2005-01-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

woh* tiring after shopping at causeway pt with mum and meerah. and like duh as usual, carrying ameerah all alone turned heads to us both. young mother and shot-gun story bah. anypoops, i got myself a really nice top for work. i love the jarang brown one but mum won't let me get that. i swear i'd get that someday when i get the cash. had dinner at KFC. 2 kindda cute boys were there giving me da smile, but when they saw meerah with me, they turned away. haha. and oh well at vista point, i dropped my things, and one of this group of guys wanted to help me, but i picked up my stuffs quick. then i heard the friends saying: asal kau nak dier sorang2 ke tak ajak member? poor cute dude blushed and said: takder lah. aku nak tolong kan. aper salah nyer. mum smiled from a distance away. and to the friend:"please lah...kalau dier nak aku pon mesti ah sorang2. tak kan aku nak dengan korang semuer. bendol". bodoh punyer melayu!

called louis cos he told me to call him instead of making a trip to school. thank you dearest director of mine. he congratulate me for getting the job.

2005-01-26T05:08:00.000-08:00

im grumbling to go to bed, but my brother won't let me! im helping him with his stoopid homework on a website design on esplanade. urgh*

anyways, wanna hear something crazy? but cute...*i think*
i called adi at 3.30am to talk since we both were still in the state where we haven't even yawned yet. out of a sudden, i started talking about pets. he said he got pets at home. cichak,cockcroach, semut. ok...very corny joke lah. then i started having this crazy idea to get him a pet tortoise...*of all things we could have talked about*

*sometimes i wonder if i was born to perform in the circus as a clown*

anypoops, i told him to name it Diyana, and kindda treat the tortoise as if it's me. *roll your eyes everyone!* the test to see how willingly he is to take care of that little Diyana. then he insisted that i get one of my own and name it adi. so he'll be getting the female one, and i'll be getting the male one. he asked me to name mine adi junior, so o'well, i am naming his little tortoise diyana junior. i made him promise me to take care of diyana junior and never to replace it with another one if ever it dies or anything.

him: abeh biler kitorang keluar kene bawak tortoise ke aper?

*trying to be funny*

so, both of us agreed to the idea. he told me how to buy those little ones at the nearby pasar. to ask the apek which one male which one female. then he told me to buy the food lah if possible. then i told him i will print and laminate the names of the little ones and paste them on their individual "home".

k lah i admit im a wee bit corny. my bro said it's a sweet idea but very lame. but then, it's the test of love mah! heh.

***

mah fam n me went to little india for dinner. we saw the taipusam celebration where a lot of the indians had their bodies poked with those needles. very eerie. we ate at this restaurant where the fish head curry was real good but the service sucked like hell. we then had desserts at another stall. i love indian kuehs. dad then took us shopping at mustafa where i bought manik2 shoes and bro bought a pair of pants. i love the shoes! i used to go crazy for indian bangles which i have a lot at home. but ever since my feelings for half malay half india dudes faded away because of a certain ex-bf who is a perakan, i decided to drop my love on that particular subject. hahaz. i love mah shoes. real cute! and man...blame it on...*me* for having such big feet. i wear size 40. urgh. and it's always so hard for me to get female shoes my size.

***

2005-01-25T16:36:00.000-08:00

OMG! i wanna cry! tears of joy! I got the job in COllective Design Firm! yey! i'll be starting work at 9am on Monday. arghh!! early mornings. i have to get use to that

but anyways, Sherry (the phone-picker), Cheryl & Jet (the senior designers),
thank you so much for believing in me. you said my work wasn't as good as my oral and visual presentation, but then u believed in me. u guys know i can learn and that my strenghs can be put to very good use for the company. i love you all!!! especially Sherry who said my goals are very inspiring. wahaha. i told her that in life, i don't wish to be stucked to just one skill. i want to learn everything i can with the time limit i have been given on this world. :)

and o' yah, thank you so much to my dearest boyfriend who has ben the one behind my back 24/7, encouraging my every step. never to give up and believing in myself. you were the one to hear me grumble and complain after each interviews. you were the one who called to ask if i get the job. you are my strengh! i love u dear.

2005-01-24T18:55:00.000-08:00

im sick and tired of rotting at home and doing things for the happiness of others. i wanna go back to school. i wanna take my degree. persue my dream in writing. i wanna go to SMU or SIM. i wanna be in university. i abandoned my chance of going to Curtin University in Perth for the sake of someone. i dun care anymore...

SMU or SIM...here i come!

i wanna take Bachelor of Arts in Communication in SIM. May intake. yey! Whee..A degree!!

2005-01-22T17:46:00.000-08:00

is this the month of broken smiles, shattered hearts and bitter tears? if not, then how come i hear friemds crying over relationship problems, including myself.
no matter what he does, i always tell myself he is still young and naive. no matter how hurt i got, i still tell him im sorry, even when im not the one in the wrong. no matter how dreadful my life turns out to be, i still tell him i love him. god taught me the principle of forgiving. and that is how i live my life. for at leats i am happy i am not like some people who won't even admit that they're in the wrong, just because of their thick ego...

2005-01-21T15:10:00.000-08:00

slamat hari raya korban to all muslims. i woke up late. like a few mins ago. y? cos i slept at 7am. y? cos i couldn't sleep. adi slept early this time. good for him, and bad for me, cause i didn't have anyone to accompany me. so i ended up watching dvds by myself. even my bro wasn't home. i felt so lonely.

in the morning, adi smsed me, complaining that he didn't have anyone to talk to at the mosque cos everyone there was speaking in bahasa indonesia, cause he & his dad went to the indonesian embassy mosque. awww poor him. i couldn't do anything or say anything to him, cause i was too tired to get out of my bed. but o'well...he's home now and he said the girls are pretty cute. heh*

going to hyacinth's bday party later...

2005-01-20T23:57:00.000-08:00

it's not what you did, but what you said.
it's the things you promised me.
please give me another reason to trust you again.
sometimes i wonder why i love you...

2005-01-20T20:30:00.000-08:00

it was such'a tiring day for me yesterday. maybe, heels was the prob. i went to bed at 11pm. poor adi has this problem these few days, whereby he would wake up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep. he beeped me at 3.30am. i woke up and accompanied ayang for a while, but knocked off again at 4.30am. sorry dear. too tired ah.

hari raya haji 2moro, but hiyas's 21st bday bash falls on the same date. bah. so i thought i would go at night with ayang. and i still haven't get anything yet for her. last minute shopping at parkway i guess. that is if dad is giving me some money.

***

i still owe hakim a birthday date which adi wouldn't let me go to. bummer. he said things like : i trust you but u should know how i feel. would u even let me go when i asked u if i could go out with my girl friends? even of it's FRIENDS? so there you go...
hakim and me lost contact for a while, but ever since i went down to Temasek Poly and looked for him, it kindda got us back talking to each other.

***

it's funny and sad to see how much your friends have actually changed just because we don't spend as much time togther like before. ever since secondary school & college are over for us, friends seem to go their own ways. and when they see you, they just seem to act differently. except for one..aileen. girl, thanks for still being the same even though u got a bf now. it's really, really nice that your bf gets along with me very weel. he's a nice guy girl! these days, the only friends i have are her & my hunny. my world seems so lonely. but who says life's fair right? it's always unfair....

2005-01-19T16:45:00.000-08:00

so i was late for my interview even though i got out of the house way earlier than i should have. don't ask me why. *talk to my hand*

i need shoes. i miss my broken shoes...which i can't wear anymore cos they're broken. heels make me cry. i was bored. i was rotting in the middle of nowhere not knowing where the hell to go. i started smsing those i know.

*beep*beep*

jake- camp (darn!)
halis- no reply
yus- in school

rot**

so i decided to go to Temasek Poly with Aileen & Lilies where they did their work, while I rot even more in the library. so i started making phone calls to all the TP friends i could think of. hakim was busy with his exam, so i didn't bug him. then out of a sudden, i saw wan.

wan: step jer muker! kau buat aper kat sini?
me: aku boring tu pasal aku datang sini takder keje...

sadly, he had to rush for work, so he had to go. bummer. so, i looked for dize's number, which *tada* i have deleted.
and i wonder why i even thought of being with him!!! yana with a "main baju" nyer budak. tak patot!!!

2005-01-18T22:00:00.000-08:00

another late night for me last night.
eating tons of fruits before you go to bsd is not a very good idea, cause u'll end up having tummy ache just like me. that lead me to sleeping at 5am, with the company of ayang who woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn't get back to sleep.

planned to meet louis at 10am, but ended waking up at 3pm instead & rushing to school. i felt so phathetic when i had to tell him that i didn't get the first job, and that i have to go for another interview the next day. this time, please collective design firm...please employ me to work for you for 29 days.

dad has been pressuring me to decide on my future asap, meaning he wants me to take a degree. i planned to work & am done with school, but he wants me to have the highest level of education as possible. but isn't this my choice? he won't even listen to what i want, instead go for what he wants. i need a break from school, but he won't let me. i need a vacation. i wanna go bangkok again. have fun...!!! he keeps on mentionong SIM, University of New South Wales, Cambridge Uni, Curtin...blah blah blah. that was what i talked about 24/7, but right now, my plans have changed. i duno what i really want, so please stop pushing me too hard. dad believes in getting as much knowledge in different lines as possible. im done with the design field. he wants me to go for the writing & management field. i feel like austin from a cinderella story. dad pressuring kids scenario.

2005-01-18T16:00:00.000-08:00

when you came,
it was as though a thousand butterflies were flying around me...
it was as though a fairy just granted my wish...
everytime i try to fly i fall, without my wings i feel so small...
i guess i need you....

in times of pain, you were there
in times of joy, you were there
in times of frustration, you were there

2005-01-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

*Urghhh*

hey bitch, i don't care what you think of me, for i know you don't even know me bitch. say whatever you want but hey...he's siding me instead of u. perlis lah, me n him are the PAST. yes past. so please stop being so jealous over nothing. i dun even want him back. he doesnt even want me back. so what the fuck. get a life!

as days past by, i can't stand most girls. girls who think of me as a "boyfriend stealer". like as though i did anything to make them come to me. first up, it's the girls fault for not taking good care of the dudes. 2nd up, it's not my fault that the dudes come to me. blurgh. so if u see me in town holding hands with your dude, slap me if you want. i'll slap you even harder.

***

FUSE CONCEPT rejected. it's their lose..really...not mine. Adi's behind me all the way. he made me feel better when i gave him my sad puppy face & voice. i got another interview in a nother interior design firm on wednesday at 11am. haixxx...wish me luck people.

2005-01-17T05:20:00.000-08:00

the whole day was about rotting at home, and finding the right tools to make myself happy and occupied.

since i have been way to free with my time, i have offered to help out with a few people's school work. For e.g, Lilies's degree report & Donna's letter writing which I did before in Professional Practise class, which was oh-so-boring. Besides that, I have been spending my time in bro's room to watch late night movies. So, Legally Blonde 1 was good but the 2nd one was ted bit boring. too much of the adult lawyer-ish shit which I do not at all understand.

I honestly can't wait till my 21st birthday, although I won't be getting the maximum freedom, at least I would be old enough to go out & not get mah Dad report me missing to the police. bluergh. that's with me...the more you try to make me be something else and do something i hate, the more i rebel to it.

k, im really sleepy now. i have to finish up my bro's school report. after that im gonna watch A Cinderella's Stroy, and then I'm off to bed.

in tears...it's me

2005-01-14T15:27:00.000-08:00

how can i eat,
when you have been the one to call me & ask if i have eaten, for at times of my busy schedule, i forgot to eat.

how can i sleep,
when you're the one i think of every single night before i dream.

how i can talk,
when you have been the one who has always been there to hear & heal.

how can i smile,
when you're the one who makes me smile with your teases, talks & presence.

how can i walk,
when you're the one who gives me the zest in my life, & you made it so happening.

how can i not cry,
when you're the one who left me with nothing right now, for you're forever gone...

"touch your heart, & hear what it says. bother nothing about what others think or advice, cause believe me, your heart makes the right desicions..."

depress

2005-01-11T15:00:00.000-08:00

i have not been seeing crying over school work for i always tell myself and the rest of my friends that i would never do that.
but i felt a tear dropped. a tear...

i threw up in the school's toilet cause i am not feeling well mentally. i am suffering from menstruation cramps, mind not at ease & so on.

i am mad at a lot of people, and that include myself. i am mad at me for being stupid, stubborn, slow & way too playful at times.

anyways, to drop those depressing subjects, here's something cool...
FUSE CONCEPT design firm called me for my attachment. yeh as in "THEY" called me for a job! the lady boss was busy so she told me she would call again later on. i don't even know my own hp number that i told Miss Tim: "hey i have to call you back in 5mins cause i can't even remember my own number." - bad first impression. shows that my memory is no good. heh... ;/

***

Okie back to the depressing subject (typical fickle me)...
i slept at 5am & ended up being late for class. i forgot my portfolio, so i had to rush back home to get it. then at the state of looking so-tak-glamour with too little make-up which did not cover my eye bags & flaws, i bumped into Shira in the train.

it was a funny moment. she was far away from me. i saw her & smiled. she smiled & looked away. i was thinking..."tak kenal aku ke budak ni?!" then i smiled again...
from a distance away, she said out loudly...

Shira: Kau saper?!
Me: Kau sini ah ah kalau nak bual.
(so she came to my seat)
Shira: Kau saper seh?
Me: Rabak ah kau! Kau Shira kan?
Shira: ah ah. Aku tak kenal kau siol.
Me: Diyana lah. Sotong sak kau!
Shira: Diyana?! Eh sial ah! Lain sak kau skarang! aku dari jauh aku fikir minah maner sak senyum2 kat aku. siak ah...serious kau lain.

*cheyyyy...shira in Bishan ITE uniform seh! feewweett...*

so we chatted lah. maklum dah nak dekat 3 tahun tak jumpa!! shira was one of the fun peeps i had during my working days. then we talked lah bout raihan, dila & fiza...

***

so back to why i slept late last night...
i was so fucked up with my work. i gave up, went to watch Final Destinatio (movie dah basi) with my brother while i cuddle on the floor with the phone on mah hand, while accompanying ayang who could't sleep (entah kenapa). the show was nice! but the blood were not a great sight. i hate blood & i am afraid of blood.

help me!

2005-01-10T19:57:00.000-08:00

O'Lord,
i wanna cry. i swear i wanna cry. :|
nothing's going right for me right now.
i have been spending my time getting glued infront of my comp, in this freaking cold classroom, while my brother is having class in here.
i am lost. totally lost in 3DMAX. I have got no clue how each icon works.
everyone has been submitting their work while im here crying, hoping for help. im waiting for jerry. have been waiting for him ever since 2pm. he's at work & damn boss won't let him go. urrgghhh!!!

i wanna scream!
i wanna cry!

plus, im having my period without a pad on mah butt. ARGH!! i hate it.
of all the people i could tell this to, i told ayang that im so screwed up for having mah period at the wrong time. no wonder im soooo moody. and he asked me if i have KOTEX with me. wah!-so clever! guys know what KOTEX is seh!

im hungry.
very hungry.

im cold.
very cold.

imdepress.
i wanna cry!!!!

recap

2005-01-09T18:03:00.000-08:00

quick update on what has been going on.

me: still can't get used to the fact that I'm 20 this year & I must stop wearing like an 18 year-old. but i don't care. skirts & pants sux. black tops, tappered jeans, comfy sneakers & studed belts are so the thing.

dear: i miss him

parents: in ok-ok terms with them. but i have to watch what i say & what i do & where i keep my things. personal things especially.

friends: huh? who?

school: i have been seleeping for the whole of one-week & still am feeling tired.

job: will be working on the costa sand project which will be built after we're done with the project. cool?!

cash: oh im so broke

food: onde-onde in the fridge shall be boiled pretty soon. mum made onde-onde beacuse i begged her to. have been sucking my face with McDonald's meals for the past few days, cause i just can't get enuff of the chicken foldover. oh-so-yummy!

bye bye school...it's real life job for now

2005-01-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

i am in school, but i wanna be home. being stucked at home for the whole of one-week has made me a home-y girl afterall. and being outside gave a me bad lucks. for starts, i fell when i was going out of da bus. my ankle's so swollen, i can't walk & i need big time help. i wanna cry. a guy picked me up when i fell. thank you blue-shirt guy, whoever you are. i didn't sleep, that explains why i am so "sotong".

so it's back to school. more to "it's attachment time!" time to hit those notes, drawing papers, drafting pens & pencils, rendering markers & late nights. anyways, boy am i glad mah school building is not as huge as the polythecnics in spore. i went to NYP just now to have lunch with nana, since she was having class at 12 noon. we had to walk sucha long distance before we can reach the pit stop-MCDONALDS in the canteen. yani was stillon the way, so we couldn't meet & i was hoping to bump into raihan, but she wasn't around.i miss bubbly her. she was one of the fun peeps i had when we were working part-time together in "somewhere". the rest of the happy bunch were hafizah(who i see around town all the time), shira(who stays near mah blk but we neverhave the time to meet) & dila(the one with the skin head bf).

k i got togo back to work aight. buayyy...

im a little dirt

2005-01-02T02:00:00.000-08:00

my name is a scrap of mould. i stand in the centre of 4 white walls. as i speak, my voice bounces back at me.
noone listens.

dear rain, thank you for crying with me. what was so sad that you cried? were you sharing my pain?